Page 71
I know I should give Catalina a kiss goodbye, if even only for the morale of the men who’ve been tasked to protect her, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
We’re not just two star-crossed lovers anymore, we’re parents, and we’ve failed our child.
“Please find Oscar,” Cat begs, her voice is as frail as ever. The only thing keeping her on her feet are the two men propping her up on either side.
If there’s one thing that connects us in this moment, it’s our shared misery. At least I know I’m not the only one suffering...
... That ends up being enough; it’s the one thing that finally draws my chest to hers.
Somehow, despite my numbness, I find my lips pressed against Cat’s. Bad idea. The shivering warmth of her kiss threatens to weaken me ever more. I pull back and give her one last look.
To my surprise, a little life seems to have re-appeared behind her fractured hazel eyes. I guess that kiss was more for her than for me...
For a small moment, I wonder if I should say something, anything. Don’t worry. Oscar will be safe. Promise. I love you.
None of it feels quite right, not right now.
So, instead of saying my goodbyes, I let my kiss linger on her spirit. The second I turn around, though, I force myself to forget about her lips. They’re only a distraction.
I rip my way into the beat-up old Pinto and roar down the street without another look or word. My heart races and my chest pounds, and a fiery whirlwind swirls inside of me as I try to focus.
Which way did they take Oscar?
Despite all of Juan’s help, we’ve never been able to figure out where Dante has been hiding out, and it’s not like I can call my old advisor up for a hint—I gave my phone to those men so that I could stay in contact with Catalina. I’m completely on my own right now.
For a while there, I thought Cat might be my soul mate, but if she is, then why did I feel so numb when we had to say goodbye?
You didn’t feel numb when you kissed her...
I’m still angry at her. We’d all be safe right now if she had just listened—but I also know that I didn’t fall for her in the first place because she followed my orders like everyone else. She’s never been a rug to walk over, so why did I suddenly expect her to be? Because of Oscar?
If anything, our son has only made her more stubborn; it’s only made me more stubborn, too. We’ve both changed enough that I don’t even know what my true feelings are anymore.
Everything is in chaos.
I shred through the fire and the violence of the slums, completely lost.
Where am I going?
The faster I drive, the more uncertain I become.
I feel like a different man from the one I was before I met Cat. The old me never doubted himself so much; the old me never failed so much; the old me never dared to love so much...
The steering wheel nearly caves under the strength of my tightening grip. My knuckles go white and my vision goes red. The frustration and anger and regret and despair that whirl around behind my chest threaten to tear me apart.
Up ahead, I see a firefight ripping through the streets. I try to peer through the flames to see if any cars are caught in the destruction.
Nothing.
A hard right turn sends me down another road; this one leads to midtown Cali. There’s no way Dante’s there, but right now I’m just trying to get out of here.
But it’s like fate doesn’t want me to leave. A few blocks into this new street, and I’m heading straight into another battle. An explosion rocks the base of a four-story cement building and it comes crumbling down before my eyes.
I swerve onto the nearest avenue, but even that isn’t a viable option. A bullet catches the hood of the old Pinto and the engine sputters and growls. I slam an open fist against the steering wheel just as another volley of wayward bullets slash through the front tires.
“Fuck!”
My only way out of here collapses under its own weight and I’m thrown forward. Somehow, I manage to press down on the breaks hard enough to come to a screeching stop before I can ram into the nearest building.
We’re not just two star-crossed lovers anymore, we’re parents, and we’ve failed our child.
“Please find Oscar,” Cat begs, her voice is as frail as ever. The only thing keeping her on her feet are the two men propping her up on either side.
If there’s one thing that connects us in this moment, it’s our shared misery. At least I know I’m not the only one suffering...
... That ends up being enough; it’s the one thing that finally draws my chest to hers.
Somehow, despite my numbness, I find my lips pressed against Cat’s. Bad idea. The shivering warmth of her kiss threatens to weaken me ever more. I pull back and give her one last look.
To my surprise, a little life seems to have re-appeared behind her fractured hazel eyes. I guess that kiss was more for her than for me...
For a small moment, I wonder if I should say something, anything. Don’t worry. Oscar will be safe. Promise. I love you.
None of it feels quite right, not right now.
So, instead of saying my goodbyes, I let my kiss linger on her spirit. The second I turn around, though, I force myself to forget about her lips. They’re only a distraction.
I rip my way into the beat-up old Pinto and roar down the street without another look or word. My heart races and my chest pounds, and a fiery whirlwind swirls inside of me as I try to focus.
Which way did they take Oscar?
Despite all of Juan’s help, we’ve never been able to figure out where Dante has been hiding out, and it’s not like I can call my old advisor up for a hint—I gave my phone to those men so that I could stay in contact with Catalina. I’m completely on my own right now.
For a while there, I thought Cat might be my soul mate, but if she is, then why did I feel so numb when we had to say goodbye?
You didn’t feel numb when you kissed her...
I’m still angry at her. We’d all be safe right now if she had just listened—but I also know that I didn’t fall for her in the first place because she followed my orders like everyone else. She’s never been a rug to walk over, so why did I suddenly expect her to be? Because of Oscar?
If anything, our son has only made her more stubborn; it’s only made me more stubborn, too. We’ve both changed enough that I don’t even know what my true feelings are anymore.
Everything is in chaos.
I shred through the fire and the violence of the slums, completely lost.
Where am I going?
The faster I drive, the more uncertain I become.
I feel like a different man from the one I was before I met Cat. The old me never doubted himself so much; the old me never failed so much; the old me never dared to love so much...
The steering wheel nearly caves under the strength of my tightening grip. My knuckles go white and my vision goes red. The frustration and anger and regret and despair that whirl around behind my chest threaten to tear me apart.
Up ahead, I see a firefight ripping through the streets. I try to peer through the flames to see if any cars are caught in the destruction.
Nothing.
A hard right turn sends me down another road; this one leads to midtown Cali. There’s no way Dante’s there, but right now I’m just trying to get out of here.
But it’s like fate doesn’t want me to leave. A few blocks into this new street, and I’m heading straight into another battle. An explosion rocks the base of a four-story cement building and it comes crumbling down before my eyes.
I swerve onto the nearest avenue, but even that isn’t a viable option. A bullet catches the hood of the old Pinto and the engine sputters and growls. I slam an open fist against the steering wheel just as another volley of wayward bullets slash through the front tires.
“Fuck!”
My only way out of here collapses under its own weight and I’m thrown forward. Somehow, I manage to press down on the breaks hard enough to come to a screeching stop before I can ram into the nearest building.
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