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Emotions struck me at every turn, and it wouldn’t be lying to say I was seriously confused lately. I didn’t know what I wanted. Or who.

Nothing made sense.

One minute I was confident about what I needed to do, and the next I questioned every choice I made. It’d be easier to blame my age and inexperience in this case, but something told me it went beyond that.

Everything stemmed from Phillip’s kiss. Before that, even though I was attracted to him, I hadn’t considered letting Nigel go at all. For some reason, when the elusive Austrian kissed me, everything changed.

But why?

In free moments, I thought about the kiss and yearned for it again.Neededit again. Even I didn’t know what the fuck was my problem. Anyone in their right mind would know Phillip was bad news and riddled with flaws.

Talk about max emotional baggage.

He was a guy who clearly played the field and didn’t form long-lasting attachments; someone who thought the world of himself. Not to mention, he was quite literally the worst.

Nigel was kind, considerate, and cared unlike anyone I’d ever met. He thought about me more than normal guys his age, and he’d been my world for over three years.

“V?”

I hummed, not listening. “What’s up?”

“Do you think there’ll ever be a future where you and I...?” Nigel didn’t finish, but he didn’t need to. I knew exactly what was left unsaid.

“Nigel.” I touched his arm, heart in my throat. “I’m—”

The werewolf scratched the back of his neck, visibly swallowing. “Sorry. That was—I don’t know why I asked that when we only just...” His jaw worked, a sigh escaping his lips. “You don’t have to answer that. It wasn’t fair of me to ask you.”

I bit my lower lip, the weight of guilt back in my stomach. “It’s a fair question. I just don’t really have answers right now.”

“No, you’re fine. I’m really glad you stayed friends with me when you didn’t have to. I don’t want to pressure you for more than that.”

Now I feel like a real jerk. I’m the worst.

Phillip glanced over his shoulder, his gaze connecting with mine for a second before he slowed down. “I sense something around this ridge. We may have to climb.”

“As in rock climb?”

I had yet to scale a mountain, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me the tiniest bit anxious knowing it was thousands of feet high. I didn’t want to experience the feeling of falling to my death but not dying. I’d regenerate and heal instantaneously, but I’d feel everything before I did, and I didn’t relish a fall to my death today.

Besides, explaining said fall and escape of certain death to Nigel would be interesting since he didn’t know I was a perfect genetic mutation of a vampire mixed with human, and basically indestructible.

But what I’d been told by Phillip was the Organization had ways to make people forget things, human or otherwise, and it sounded plenty ominous for me not to wish that on the guy who’d been nothing but wonderful to me the last few months.

Phillip’s mouth was tilted boyishly, evidently picking up on my internal thoughts because he was a bastard like that. “How else? With our abilities, it shouldn’t pose much of an issue. I’m almost eighty percent sure you won’t fall. Probably.”

Oh, yes, he was definitely a bastard.

Nigel glanced at me, hesitant. “If you’re worried, I can carry you on my back.”

“That’s—”

“In wolf form, of course,” Nigel interrupted, lips sliding up secretively.

Interest piqued, I paused. “Going to let me ride you like a pony, huh?”

“I know you’re eager to try it out,” Nigel teased, his husky laughter causing me to inadvertently smile. “I can promise I won’t drop you. It’s a tough mountain to climb. You’re better off just letting me help.”

Phillip was instantly in front of me, eyes narrowed. “No. You’re here to train, not ride on some wolf’s back.”