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That was a bunch of mixed signals.

“So, what does that mean?”

“Fuck, I don’t know. I don’t want to be in a position where that might happen to me again. I can’t have that happen again, Sophie. I can’t.” Her nails dug into my skin and her eyes were wide with panic.

“Hey, I know. It’s scary. Trusting someone is scary. Especially when you’ve had your trust broken. And it wasn’t just Kaylee who did that.”

“What do you mean?”

I took a breath. “Your mom.”

Reid let go of me. “You don’t know anything about my mom.”

“I know enough from what you’ve told me and what you haven’t told me. I think you’ve got a lot of trauma where she’s concerned.”

Reid shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Maybe not. But I think you’ve been pushing a lot of shit aside and not dealing with it.” How did this go from a kissing session to a therapy session? Tonight had really gone downhill. But she needed to hear this from someone. I bet her friends had said the same things, but she should hear it from me too.

“What do you want me to say? That my mom fucked me up so bad that I can’t trust anyone? That I used to dream that I was adopted, and my real parents were going to show up any day and take me home with them and save me from her? I hate her. I fucking hate her for everything she did. She stole my life from me. And then I met Kaylee and I loved her, and she fucked me over too. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”

She’d started pacing again, throwing her words like daggers. Reid had been holding all of this in for a long time. Maybe her whole life.

“Fuck, Sophie. I just…fuck.” Her voice broke and she faced me, her hands held out in front of her. “What the hell?”

I decided to hug her again.

Chapter Twenty-One

Reid

This was the night from heaven and hell. Two extremes. The high of finally kissing Sophie and the low of ripping open my life and talking about all the bad shit.

Sophie was being unbelievably calm about all this and I kept waiting for her to say she was bailing. That she didn’t need this. That she was done.

But she was still here, even after I’d yelled about Kaylee and my mom. And then she hugged me, and it was like all of my energy drained at once and I was so tired that I was half asleep on my feet.

“Hey,” she said, rubbing my back in this certain way that made me want to beg her never to stop, “why don’t you sit on the couch. I’m going to draw you a bath.”

“You don’t need to do that,” I mumbled.

“I know. But I want to.” She led me over to the couch like a child and I sat down, my legs heavy.

“Just stay here,” she said, patting my shoulder. Where was I going to go?

I listened while Sophie moved around the bathroom and turned the water on. I should tell her to go.

I should, but I wasn’t going to.

Sophie came out and sat down next to me. “I think you need to talk to someone.”

I’d heard those words many, many times before and I’d always ignored them. I was fine. I had moved on with my life. I went to work, I wrote my fanfic, and I had my friends. I wasn’t lying in bed unable to function, so why did I need therapy? By nearly every metric, I was doing a hell of a lot better than some people.

I clenched my jaw so hard that it made my teeth ache.

“Just think about it.”

“I’m sorry. For tonight. That I can’t be what you deserve.” That was the worst part. Sophie should have someone who worshipped her. Who knew how special she was and showed her every day. With flowers and cupcakes and songs written about how gorgeous her eyes were.