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So many things. So many vile, deplorable things I want and will do to her.

My little stepsister who isn’t so little anymore.

I’ve had her watched over the years. Her photos are what fueled the change in me.

Those large blue eyes. Her lush brown hair that reaches her shoulders. My favorite photo out of the three was taken at her home, in Seattle, on Christmas day two years ago.

She’s grown into a beautiful woman while I’ve been stuck here.

While I’ve become even more possessive of her.

My obsession with her has morphed into something far more sinister than it was years ago.

Strange, I agree. I neverfeel.

Then again, I never met anyone like Shiloh. She does things to my cold heart.

Other than love and protectiveness, there’s anger. She didn’t stick up for me in court. Or when the ADA came to our house for the under-the-table plea deal.

It wouldn’t have changed anything, but fuck. I wanted to hear her saymy brother isn’t guilty. He’s done the right thing.

There’s also lust and a violent need to own her body.

She’ll be the first person I’ve ever been with sexually.

And I will be with her. In any way that counts.

Bullshitting Dr. Reynolds did the trick, landed me this escape opportunity.

I haven’t been out in years. Eleven, Doc Reynolds. Send me out there for an hour. A secured ride around the forest. I’ll have plenty to share after that. I’ll tell you all about why I am the way I am.

The next morning, I had my day trip scheduled.

One I’m never coming back from.

“Well, then.” He clasps his hands before him. A bead of sweat slips between them, landing on the ground. He’s really excited, the fool; thinks this is his big break. “Should this experiment be successful, this trip won’t be the last.”

A snort to my right. Dick—name suits him fucking right, the bastard. My most hated guard. The man who’s escorting me on this ride.

The asshole loves ridiculing my mask. Mocks me whenever he digs up the three photos I have hidden in my room. He doesn’t think Shiloh’s ugly or anything like that. No one ever could.

It pisses him off that I smuggled them in through back channels. That Dr. Reynolds lets me have them, even though the rules don’t permit it.

Jerome’s name will never leave my lips. We’re the same age. Grew up here together. Only difference is, he was released at eighteen. I’m sure he hasn’t stopped committing crimes on the outside. He just doesn’t get caught.

I sure as fuck won’t be the reason he gets sent back here. Other than as a visitor, that is.

A visitor who slips me gifts. Gifts that come with a price that I’ll have to pay once I’m on the outside.

“You’ll fail, freak.”

I turn to Dick, the sneaky fuck who stole two precious items from my room this morning.

His narrowed, beady brown eyes stare back at me.

He reeks of fear. He hates it when I glare at him in silence. I do that whenever I can.

When he goes through my stuff. When he checks for shivs or pills. He sneers and curses, trying to mask the terror he can’t shake.