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I had the rest of my coffee and pulled out one of the pastries and shoved half of it in my mouth at once. It was a struggle for me to remember to eat during the day even when I brought foodwith me or had the option of lots of takeout places nearby. Most days I’d set an alarm and sometimes forget what I’d set it for.

Sophie told me more about work and I filled her in on the books I’d ordered and what new releases I had on my radar to purchase. I’d have to be constantly aware of what books were coming out so I could get them. Daunting, but it was also pretty fun.

It was nice to talk about books with Sophie. A vacation from talking about everything else going on in my life.

Sophie left me with a caffeine buzz and a full stomach and a bit less anxiety. The day had been good, but now I had to go home and see Jo. See if this morning was a fluke or if there was something wrong.

When I got back home,Juniper ran over to hug me. Once I put her down, I looked up to find Jo putting her bag over her shoulder. Oh. Usually she would stay and ask me about my day before she left. She’d also been making us dinner lately, but the kitchen was clean.

“I should get going,” she said, giving me a tight smile that almost looked like she was in pain.

“Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?”

She nodded jerkily and leaned down to hug Juniper.

“Bye, PJ. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Juniper waved goodbye and I tried to meet her eyes as she closed the door.

Weird.

Chapter Fifteen

Jo

I’d done my best to keep my distance and it had been awful. Now I was home again, but all I could think about was Larison. How had her day been? What progress had she made with the bookshop? I especially wanted to know how the interview had gone.

But I had to set some kind of boundaries if I was going to get through this job. And that had to start now.

It was the right thing to do, so why did it feel so fucking horrible?

I had to fight myself not to send her a message for the rest of the night. All I wanted was to reach out to her somehow and reignite our connection.

It would get easier. It had to get easier.

It did not get easier.

As the week went on, I struggled to maintain my distance from Larison. Every moment I had to fight the urge to look at her and smile at her and talk to her and sit on the couch and make her dinner and ask her if I could braid her hair.

At night, sleep was elusive, and it made me more irritable during the day. I got short with Juniper a few times and had to take a moment to collect myself before I apologized to her.

It sure felt like I was crumbling, but Larison hadn’t said anything. I knew she’d been confused at first, but as my detachment continued, she seemed to accept it and almost curl in on herself too. She was still bright and enthusiastic with Juniper, but the tone in her voice when she spoke to me had changed and I noticed it. This was the week the murals were being painted on the walls. She’d been looking forward to this for a long time and she should be giddy, but the minute she saw me, she would kind of wilt.

It couldn’t be because of me, right? I wasn’t being mean or rude or anything toward her. Just…distant. Professional.

At least, I thought I was. I’d been doing my job and trying to give Larison respect.

On Friday she came in and something shifted when I tried to scoot past her to leave.

“Is everything okay?” she asked. My head snapped up and I made intentional eye contact with her for the first time in days.

“Yeah, everything is fine,” I said, nodding and almost choking on the lie. I hated the way it felt in my mouth. I wasn’t a liar.

Larison stepped closer. “Are you sure?”

It was harder to breathe the closer she got, and I couldn’t look away from her face. I hadn’t really looked at her in days and I was starving for it.

My eyes greedily drank her in.