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He shrugged. “I don’t really care—”
She tweaked his hair.
“Ouch.” He chuckled and caught her hand. “What was that for?”
“Lying to me.” She leaned forward and kissed his mouth. “You care, Toth. And I love that about you.”
Satisfaction churned inside his core. Savannah’s words touched an abyssal, tender area unchartered by his awareness. He sighed. He was getting in over his head. Caught up in all things blond and sexy. But he couldn’t bear the thought of putting distance between Savannah and him.
Well, fuck.
He’d have to unpack that shit later. “Not much gets past you.”
“Nope.” She chewed the corner of her mouth, and her smile faded.
“What’re you thinking about?”
“Everything,” she said with a shrug. “Brett, my dad...” Her faraway look tainted the sweetness of her gaze and made his heart ache.
“It’ll be over soon. I promise.”
She chortled. “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of, I guess. How it will end. And Brett, well, I have conflicting feelings about him.”
Toth’s muscles bunched. He clenched his jaw to keep his expression passive. To make it look as if what she’d said hadn’t cut him to the heart. Which was dumb. She had every right to feel confused, but fear clouded his rational mind. He needed to know one thing before he lost his fucking head.
“Do you still think about Jace?” He shouldn’t have asked. Who fucking cared? The guy was dead. But shit, he needed to know where her heart lay. All of it.
Savannah’s eyes bugged out, and she grimaced. “God no. Well, not in a good way. I think about how things could have—should have been different. But I don’t miss him. Not in that way. Does that make sense?”
Toth traced the edge of his beard with his thumbnail. “I understand, yeah.” The answer was weak. Fact was, he hated the idea of any other man occupying her thoughts.
“Good.” She stared at her knees. “Part of me is happy he’s dead. The other part of me wants to lash out at him because I never got that chance. But that’s just something I’m going to have to learn to let go.”
He covered her hand with his but waited.
“The only good thing about what happened is that I wasn’t doomed to spend the rest of my life with him. Or coparent.” She let out a shaky, brittle laugh. “Ohmigod. I can’t even believe I’m saying that. I would give anything to have her back... to have her at all. I just—”
He caught her chin, holding her face inches from his. “There’s nothing wrong with being grateful you didn’t have to struggle with that loser. I know you’d give anything for her to be here. That’s not diminished by being glad he’s not in your life. Okay?”
Her lip trembled and she nodded. “All my life, well, since my mom died, all I wanted was to be a mother. I thought I’d somehow fill that gap in myself. Then she was taken from me, too.” Her voice broke, straining every heartstring in his chest. A sob broke from her throat.
He pulled her to him and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “You’re still a mother, Sav. She’ll always be part of you.”
Never in his life had he ached to consume someone else’s pain. He’d always been so caught up in his own.
If it cost him his last breath, he’d make Brett pay.
CHAPTER 21
Savannah’s muscles vibratedas she sat in the hotel living room. The need to do something productive was almost all-consuming. Toth’s voice carried from the bedroom, where he spoke on the phone. She dragged her fingers through her hair and then weaved the strands into a side braid. At least she’d gotten to shower and felt somewhat human.
Knock,knock
The sharp rap on the door made her freeze. But Brett or his men wouldn’t announce themselves.
Toth walked briskly out of the bedroom. “Call ya back.” He disconnected and slipped the phone into his pocket then checked the peephole.
His shoulder blades pulled back and his body turned rigid. He withdrew the gun from the waistband of his pants and pointed it at the ground before pressing his back to the wall beside the door.