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No doubt wondering if I was mentally unhinged, my visitor looked around him in alarm. “Who are you speaking to?” the rabbit asked.

“The inn,” I said flatly, unwilling to rat out Jezel, even though she thoroughly deserved it for forcing me to wear this outfit. I moved my attention away from the wand and back to him. “Okay. Now that the pleasantries are over, let’s get back to business. Who are you, and why are you here?”

The rabbit straightened. I felt certain he was trying to add a millimeter or two to his upright size in an attempt to intimidate me. He was so small that I doubted even another male rabbit would have been impressed by the action.

“Princess Peace-and-Harmony made a reservation for us. She said you agreed to let us stay.”

I crossed my arms. “The princess merely asked if I would take in a friend of hers for a short stay. I said yes to the request, but she did not stipulate a date nor confirm that your arrival would be today.”

The rabbit sighed heavily and nodded. “Yes, well, unfortunately, our plans changed. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

I nodded once to accept his apology. “Could you leave and return tomorrow? I have plans for this evening that I’m unwilling to change.”

He raised his front paws. “But you’re the innkeeper. Your job is to serve those who stay here. Can’t your love life wait?”

“Look, Lord Rabbit, this innkeeper gig is temporary. I’m a criminal, and being here is my punishment. I am not a real innkeeper. I’m just standing in for one. The inn’s owner is extorting me.”

“What?!” the rabbit exclaimed, placing one tiny bunny paw to put it on his chest. “I had no idea you were a criminal. This is so unexpected. What kind of crime did you commit?”

“I shrank my ex-boyfriend’s man stick after he cheated on me.”

The rabbit huffed, and the movement sent his whiskers twitching. “Perhaps that explains why your dating life isn’t going well. A witch wanting to date should keep such spells to herself.”

Politeness gone now, I openly glared at him. “For your snooty information, Lord Long Ears, I caught the bastard doing the wild thing with another woman in my grandmother’s antique bed. He deserved what I did to him, and I needed to make sure he knew we were over. It was a temporary spell, and it eventually wore off. I’m just here because... oh, never mind. None of that changes anything.”

I liked Peace too much to blame her for this insulting conversation, but I really didn’t appreciate this snooty critter passing judgment on me and my love life. I wanted to tell him to get lost, but I couldn’t. Jezel would probably kill me if I sent him away.

I was going to do that anyway, but then he nodded and patted his furry chest with his tiny bunny paw. It was bunny cuteness times ten—damn it. I found I simply couldn’t say no to a cute bunny, even if he did have a pompous, know-it-all attitude.

The wand vibrated in my hand, but didn’t shock me this time. I knew Jezel was trying to tell me something, but I had no idea what. The shock of talking to a rabbit sitting on hay bales hadn’t worn off yet.

A full minute passed before I let out a breath to signal my defeat. “What’s your name?” I demanded.

The talking rabbit blew out a frustrated breath and then politely bowed his head. “Lord Alfred of Hutchley, at your service, Innkeeper.”

I raised an eyebrow at his title. “My name is Selene. You’re welcome to stay at the inn, Lord Alfred, but I have a third date scheduled for tonight. If I get lucky—and I fully intend to—I cannot guarantee you a quiet evening. Do you need further clarification about the situation?”

“No, and please do not provide it. Can you accommodate large four-legged creatures inside the inn?”

“No, the bedrooms are up a flight of stairs, and the inn has no elevator. You’re pretty big for a rabbit, but I could probably carry you up the stairs if you like. Would you require a litter box for your room?”

Alfred made a choked noise. “No, My Good Lady. His Highness and I require only the best your stable has to offer. One stall with fresh hay is all that is necessary. I will sleep outside Prince Robin’s stall door. If His Highness needs something in the middle of the night, I prefer to be close.”

“Prince Robin?”

“Yes, my companion is Prince Robin of Locksley,” Alfred explained.

“Locksley? Like in Robin Hood?” I asked, fighting not to laugh. Wasn’t Robin Hood a fox in the cartoon movie? He for sure wasn’t the rabbit. Was Little John going to turn out to be a bear? Farley wouldn’t appreciate me letting a strange bear stick around.

I looked around the mountain of hay for the mysterious prince but saw no other animals.

Alfred’s sigh was large. “That myth involved the Prince’s ancestor from many centuries ago. His Highness was named after that ancestor in the hope that he would be inspired to be as honorable. Alas, Prince Robin has grown up in a different time. Life has shaped the prince differently.”

I grunted softly, “So I guess he doesn’t rob rich people and give the money to poor people, then?”

Alfred grunted. “No, he’s a software designer—what most would call a geek. To his queen mother’s horror, he prefers playing video games to participating in real life.”

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Games were fun, but they were still just games. I visualized a chubby fox in a castle basement with a game controller desperately clutched in his paws. What kind of games would he play?