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“Depends.”
“Depends onwhat?”
“Why you’re actually here, swallowing your pride. The motive matters. It depends what youwantout of this, Ri.” I stand in front of her, appreciating for the first time how small she is.
Winnie, she’s short too, but the coppery red hair and her boundless energy somehow make her seem taller.
Rina has folded in on herself, her eyes drilling through me. She stands like one more wrong word could break her.
“I’ve done a lot of growing up over the past few months, you know,” she says quietly, looking up at me like I can see the truth in her face. “A lot, okay? The last few years were rough. There’s a ton I regret. I just want to know my son before he’s a grown man. Before it’s too late… Is that really such a crime?”
Fuck me.
She’s saying all the right things, plucking the old heartstrings like a banjo. But there’s still that muddy ball of distrust she built over years of disappointment. I can’t just blink and shove the dirt aside.
If I believe her, if I give her another chance, it’s too likely she’ll let me down again—and more importantly, let Colt down, too.
I can’t let that happen.
My boy isn’t a grown man yet. He’s still a kid, susceptible to heartbreak and bad decisions. Having his mother abandon him for the fiftieth time when he’s old enough to understand it might scar him for life.
Fuck that.
Colt deserves better than a part-time parent who ghosts in and out of his life whenever she pleases. A parent who says the right words but doesn’t follow through.
A parent who only loves until she gets bored.
Yes, I get it.
Being a parent of any kind is fucking hard.
I learned that lesson better than anyone, and even though I’ve tried my best, I’ve made my mistakes. Now, I just don’t want to open him up to more hurt.
Only, the way Rina looks at me, all big eyes and that wounded expression, makes me think maybe I’m misjudging the situation.
She’s spent enough time away from us, living her life. What if shehascome to her senses?
What if she just wants to be a positive force in his life before it’s too late?
Part of me thinks it already is.
Then again, if it was too late, Colt wouldn’t be hanging out with her like this. He wouldn’t answer her questions so gently, so freely, chatting up his accomplishments and smiling at her stories about beautiful beaches in Oregon and California.
Hewantsa mom.
Before I can say anything, or even figure out what the hell to say, Mom comes strolling back in the room.
“Trampoline is up and he’s jumping his heart out,” she says, all smiles and pleasantry.
It’s insane how she manages when she might just hate Rina more than I do.
Back when we first got together, she told me not to go through with it. The marriage, the counseling when the relationship was hanging by a thread, the everything.
The past is the past, though, and Mom’s mature enough to figure maybe there’s something more going on.
Adelaide Rory is a forgiving woman. She always gives people the benefit of the doubt, even when Rina Desmona only ever lets people down.
I guess that’s why I’m so damn protective over her, trying to keep away people who might exploit her generosity. It happens every year at her art shows and it pisses me off.