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I exchanged a fleeting glance with Malakai, and he shook his head. Cypherion wouldn’t budge.

Gratitude to Malakai for being here lifted my spirit. How did he feel today? Where I’d once been able to read his emotions like my favorite book, the pages were now worn and faded.

We’d spent time together since the battle, both with our friends and alone, reviving the lessons we’d undergone as children. Diplomacy, finances, history. With those goals, we were able to take steps toward friendship. Even though Malakai would rather be anywhere than a council meeting, we understood each other in a way no one else ever would.

And the Bind still tied us together. We didn’t know how to remove the tattoos and were left with threaded souls indefinitely. Every so often, hints of emotion slipped across the North Star, but it was a haunting echo rather than an intentional message. There was a beat of something resembling warm pride in it today, but it could have been my imagination.

Looking around at our group, there was an obvious hole among us. Tolek’s absence was felt, a gaping lack of someone so woven into our lives that at times it was like we didn’t know how to act anymore. We were still us, but occasionally, someone would speak, and a beat of silence would answer, like we all knew Tolek would have been the first to respond.

It reminded me of when Malakai first left, and one steadfast pillar of our lives was taken. We were stronger now than we were then. We’d fought to keep our family together, leaning on each other, but dammit it was agonizing.

Before we left, I gripped Rina’s hand. “Did you see him?”

The others stilled.

Santorina’s eyes softened, and the sadness she hid for us all broke through. “I did, Ophelia. And I’m so sorry. I thought he’d be awake by now. I thought we lifted the draught early enough. I thought?—”

“It’s okay,” I said, forcing my shoulders back and lifting my chin. The lie twisted through me, but what I said next was true. “It’s not your fault, Rina. You’re the only reason Tolek is still alive, in some form.”

Because we thought we lost him once.

About three weeks into his coma, something changed. He’d thrashed and thrashed in his sleep. The screaming—Spirits, it was worse than I’d heard when he was captured over the summer by the Mindshapers or when he’d had a nightmare in that cave. It was tortured, guttural, and so very broken.

And then he fell silent.

And his heartbeat had been so faint.

“We can prolong the coma,” Rina had blurted. All tear-streaked eyes in the room shifted to her. “I can give him a potion that will keep him under but continue to heal his body. We can lift it in a month and see if he’s stable enough to wake.”

A month, I’d thought. A guaranteed month longer without him. But it could save his life.

“Do it,” I’d told Rina.

And I’d watched as she poured the clear liquid down his throat. Listened as his heartbeat leveled out again. Watched over the next month as healers continued with treatments for muscular repair that ensured he’d be able to walk and fight when he woke, after a bit of practice.

When we lifted the draught—nearly two weeks ago—he had been more stable. Whatever magic Santorina had worked with the Bodymelders had strengthened him.

But he had not woken.

He should have within hours or days with the rate his body was recovering. Yet I was still counting the moments until I heard his voice again, until his breath tickled my skin and his jokes inflated my heart.

Santorina squeezed my hand, pulling me back to the present.

“I wanted him to be here for this,” I admitted.

“We all did,” Malakai said.

“But we’re proud of you,” Rina added.

If I was being honest, I was proud of myself, too. I wasn’t letting the void inside of me hold me back. I’d postponed this ceremony for weeks, hoping Tolek would wake, but even though the memory of his lips against mine heated the hollows inside my chest, I couldn’t wait any longer. War was raging at the southern border of the mountains, a queen wanted my blood, and an angelic prophecy haunted my future.

While I had a plethora of support in this very room and more beyond the walls, to an extent I was doing this alone.

I was doing this for me.

“Today will be a good day,” I announced. Meeting each of their eyes, I laced my stare with the hope of the Mystique Warriors. When I continued, it was words I thought Tolek might say if he saw how we were all behaving. “We deserve to celebrate, no matter what has happened these past months. For today, let’s set aside our pain because I was chosen by the damn Angels, and a new age is dawning. Let’s choose the good in honor of those who cannot be with us, because you know damn well he’d yell at us all if he saw us moping.”

It was a forced speech, but if it encouraged my friends to set aside their burdens, I could try, too. And I wasn’t lying—it was what Tolek would want for us.