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Then he steps back, not even bothering to hide the way he’sverynaked andveryaware of what he’s doing to me, and starts dressing like he didn’t just completely ruin me with a hug. I stand there for a beat too long, heart racing, heat crawling acrossmy skin, and think: I amsoscrewed. And not in the way Iwantto be. Not yet.

But soon.

Silas

I miss my unicorn. Murder. His name is Murder. And don’t look at me like that—he earned it. Gave me side-eye for hours after I covered him in glitter. Sparklesonly enhanced his majesty, but no. Murder decided he hated me after that. Which is a shame, because he was the best damn companion I’ve had aside from Elias, and Elias doesn’t even let me braid his hair anymore after The Incident™ with the enchanted ivy.

Now, it’s just walking. Walking and more walking. Endless, muddy, soul-crushing, foot-destroying hiking. I’m not meant for this peasant lifestyle. I’m meant to ride. I’m meant to fly. I’m meant to glide through the woods on a unicorn with emotionally repressed daddy issues and a murder kink.

Instead? Blisters. There’s one forming on my left toe that feels like it’s plotting my demise. It’s rubbing against the inside of my boot with every step, and no one seems to care. Not even Luna. Mybonded. My heart. My dark, stabby goddess. She just keeps walking ahead of me like she’s not currently dragging me through the hellscapes of soggy terrain and endless foliage. She hasn’t evenlookedback.

“I’m dying,” I announce, loud enough for the birds to scatter.

No one reacts.

“I’m pretty sure this blister is sentient and trying to assassinate me.”

Still nothing.Rude.

I jog forward, dramatically limping until I reach Luna’s side, then drape myself over her like the beautiful, blister-ridden tragedy I am. “If I perish,” I mutter into her shoulder, “bury me in glitter and shame.”

“You’re not dying,” she says, deadpan. She doesn’t even glance at me.

“Not yet. But I could be. There’s a chance. Asolidtwenty percent chance.”

“A chance of what?”

“Sudden, spontaneous toe death.”

That earns me a snort, and I live for that sound. If I could bottle it and drink it, I would. I’d be drunk on Luna laughter until I was face-down in the moss with my pants missing and no recollection of how I got there.

“I’ll conjure you new boots when we stop,” she says, voice dry but fond. “With extra room for your delicate toes.”

“I knew I bonded the right woman.”

“Was it the magic? The sacrifice? The soul connection?”

“It was your commitment to foot care.” I lean in and whisper, “And your ass. Obviously.”

“Silas.”

“What? I’min lovewith your ass. Respectfully.”

She shoves me off her with a roll of her eyes, but her mouth is twitching, and I take that as a win.

Elias sidles up from the other side like he’s been waiting to tag in, eyes darting between me and Luna. “Did he tell you about the toe thing?”

“She’sintimately aware,” I tell him. “She’s going to craft me boots lined in silk and gold.”

“With toe room,” Elias nods. “Luxury.”

Luna sighs. “Why do I love either of you?”

“Because we’re irresistible,” I offer.

“Because I’m better looking than him,” Elias says.

I gasp. “Lies and slander!”