Page 98
Blár narrowed his eyes and even without his ice magic, Kolfinna could’ve sworn the room felt a tad bit chillier. “Neither of us could’ve predicted this.”
“And that’s your lousy excuse?” Magni laughed, but it sounded like a hollow sob. “I thought a black rank meant something. You’re supposed to be the strongest person in the military! Couldn’t you have prevented this?”
“That’s enough fighting.” Truda’s voice held no substance, as if her will had already faded deep inside her. Pathetic and weak and so unlike her usual sharpness. She pulled herself into a tighter ball. “Come on … I don’t want to die with you both bickering in the background.”
“We’re not dead yet. That’s something.” Blár rose to his feet in one fluid motion. “And I’m not planning on dying yet. Kolfinna, you haven’t given up yet, have you?”
All eyes turned to her, but she didn’t have it in her to glare or hide her emotions. She probably looked every bit like the terrified, hopeless fae girl she was. Tears still clung to her lower lashes, and she made no move to wipe her damp cheeks. There was nothing left to do. Eyfura was dead, the door was blocked off with stones, and the runes didn’t allow magic.
Truda took one look at Kolfinna and buried her face in her knees, hugging herself into an even smaller ball. Magni raked a hand through his hair, pushing himself deeper against the wall, but Blár simply stared at her. Unwavering, unblinking—he stared.
“Kolfinna,” Blár said in a low voice, “you can’t give up.”
She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. “Why not?”
“Because we still have a lot to do.”
“Youhave a lot to do. I don’t.” Her face crumpled as hot tears threatened to spill once more. It probably killed him to have to ask her for help, but there was nothing else for her to do. Nothing she could do. “All I’ve ever done is run, and even if we get out of this alive, that’s all I’ll be able to do. Run forever, because that’s all fae can do in this world.”
“If you really think that’s all you can do, why didn’t you join them?”
“I can’t do that,” she whispered. “I can’t be the oppressor.”
“You don’t become the oppressor, not at first.” Blár rounded the room, his hands pressing and searching over every crack lining the gray walls. “First, you’re the rebel. Then, you’re an oppressor. And then”—he stopped at the window and turned to her, the wind tousling his hair—“you’re in high society. You could be powerful.Ifthey succeed.”
“I can’t be one of them. I just can’t.”Kolfinna hugged her knees to her chest like Truda was doing and tried to appear smaller—to disappear altogether. “I can’t kill innocent people. I can’t just … destroy a society because I don’t fit in it. I want to make room in that society. I want to change the way people think about fae. I don’t want to do it like that—through violence, through killing, throughwar.”
“Well then,” he said, closing the distance between them, “it doesn’t sound like you’ve given up to me.” He held his hand out to her. “It sounds to me like you’ve got a lot of work to do. The first being to get us out of here.”
Kolfinna leaned her back against the wall and closed her eyes to avoid his stare—and his outstretched hand. “It’s impossible. The runes are too strong.”
“You didn’t even try.”
“I don’t have to.” She motioned to the runes. “They’re stronger than what I can do.”
“You have to—”
“Stop!” She slapped his hand away, her voice shrill in the silent room. “I don’t need to do anything! If you want to get out, then maybe you should try something?! I’m not able to do anything, all right? So just leave me alone.” Her voice tapered off into a sob.
Blár scoffed. “Are you breaking down just because this girl”—he motioned to Eyfura like she wasn’t important—“betrayed you?”
“Her name is Eyfura,” Magni snapped. “She’s not just some random girl. She’s Eyfura, a Royal Guard who put her life on the line for this mission—”
“Was. Her namewasEyfura,” Blár said. “And because of her betrayal, Kolfinna’s giving up.”
Kolfinna flinched. “I’m not breaking down or giving—”
“You are. Don’t act like you’re better off dead because someone wanted you dead. Isn’t that supposed to be a normal occurrence for you anyway?”
“I trusted her.” Her voice sounded small compared to the enormity of what he wanted out of her.
“Well, now she’s dead, so she’s not your problem anymore.”
Magni slammed his fist on the floor. “Eyfura wouldn’t have done that.” His gaze slid over the Kolfinna. “She would never kill someone and definitely notyou.”
Kolfinna’s breath caught in her throat, but she couldn’t believe him.
“And why do you say that?” Kolfinna asked.
“And that’s your lousy excuse?” Magni laughed, but it sounded like a hollow sob. “I thought a black rank meant something. You’re supposed to be the strongest person in the military! Couldn’t you have prevented this?”
“That’s enough fighting.” Truda’s voice held no substance, as if her will had already faded deep inside her. Pathetic and weak and so unlike her usual sharpness. She pulled herself into a tighter ball. “Come on … I don’t want to die with you both bickering in the background.”
“We’re not dead yet. That’s something.” Blár rose to his feet in one fluid motion. “And I’m not planning on dying yet. Kolfinna, you haven’t given up yet, have you?”
All eyes turned to her, but she didn’t have it in her to glare or hide her emotions. She probably looked every bit like the terrified, hopeless fae girl she was. Tears still clung to her lower lashes, and she made no move to wipe her damp cheeks. There was nothing left to do. Eyfura was dead, the door was blocked off with stones, and the runes didn’t allow magic.
Truda took one look at Kolfinna and buried her face in her knees, hugging herself into an even smaller ball. Magni raked a hand through his hair, pushing himself deeper against the wall, but Blár simply stared at her. Unwavering, unblinking—he stared.
“Kolfinna,” Blár said in a low voice, “you can’t give up.”
She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. “Why not?”
“Because we still have a lot to do.”
“Youhave a lot to do. I don’t.” Her face crumpled as hot tears threatened to spill once more. It probably killed him to have to ask her for help, but there was nothing else for her to do. Nothing she could do. “All I’ve ever done is run, and even if we get out of this alive, that’s all I’ll be able to do. Run forever, because that’s all fae can do in this world.”
“If you really think that’s all you can do, why didn’t you join them?”
“I can’t do that,” she whispered. “I can’t be the oppressor.”
“You don’t become the oppressor, not at first.” Blár rounded the room, his hands pressing and searching over every crack lining the gray walls. “First, you’re the rebel. Then, you’re an oppressor. And then”—he stopped at the window and turned to her, the wind tousling his hair—“you’re in high society. You could be powerful.Ifthey succeed.”
“I can’t be one of them. I just can’t.”Kolfinna hugged her knees to her chest like Truda was doing and tried to appear smaller—to disappear altogether. “I can’t kill innocent people. I can’t just … destroy a society because I don’t fit in it. I want to make room in that society. I want to change the way people think about fae. I don’t want to do it like that—through violence, through killing, throughwar.”
“Well then,” he said, closing the distance between them, “it doesn’t sound like you’ve given up to me.” He held his hand out to her. “It sounds to me like you’ve got a lot of work to do. The first being to get us out of here.”
Kolfinna leaned her back against the wall and closed her eyes to avoid his stare—and his outstretched hand. “It’s impossible. The runes are too strong.”
“You didn’t even try.”
“I don’t have to.” She motioned to the runes. “They’re stronger than what I can do.”
“You have to—”
“Stop!” She slapped his hand away, her voice shrill in the silent room. “I don’t need to do anything! If you want to get out, then maybe you should try something?! I’m not able to do anything, all right? So just leave me alone.” Her voice tapered off into a sob.
Blár scoffed. “Are you breaking down just because this girl”—he motioned to Eyfura like she wasn’t important—“betrayed you?”
“Her name is Eyfura,” Magni snapped. “She’s not just some random girl. She’s Eyfura, a Royal Guard who put her life on the line for this mission—”
“Was. Her namewasEyfura,” Blár said. “And because of her betrayal, Kolfinna’s giving up.”
Kolfinna flinched. “I’m not breaking down or giving—”
“You are. Don’t act like you’re better off dead because someone wanted you dead. Isn’t that supposed to be a normal occurrence for you anyway?”
“I trusted her.” Her voice sounded small compared to the enormity of what he wanted out of her.
“Well, now she’s dead, so she’s not your problem anymore.”
Magni slammed his fist on the floor. “Eyfura wouldn’t have done that.” His gaze slid over the Kolfinna. “She would never kill someone and definitely notyou.”
Kolfinna’s breath caught in her throat, but she couldn’t believe him.
“And why do you say that?” Kolfinna asked.
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