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“Then we will travel to the Unseelie Court and hope to find allies there.”

“Yes,” I say, feeling relieved he’s given in more easily than I expected. “Your uncle, Lisinder, is the king there, and he has been fair to us in the past.”

“Wonderful. At least I have some family not intent on killing me,” Ruskin says.

I decide now is not the time to get into the tricky circumstances under which we last left the Unseelie Kingdom.

One mess at a time.

Which brings us to our shortage of horses.

“The Calasian can’t carry us three to the Unseelie Court. Not all that way,” Destan points out.

“This is simple. We will cross back over to Seelie and find the nearest Low Fae who can lend us their animals for the journey,” Ruskin says.

“And risk them reporting our whereabouts to Evanthe’s followers?” says Destan, shaking his head. “That’s too risky.”

I sigh. “I think you’re both forgetting some place we can definitely purchase horses without risk of news getting back to our enemies.”

They look at me, nonplussed, and I point to the Unseelie Gate.

“Styrland?” I say, astounded they’d be so quick to overlook an entire realm. “I don’t where this gate comes out, but you can portal to the nearest farm or stables from there.”

Ruskin insists on going alone and I’m too tired to argue at this point, even if my throat feels tight at the sight of him slipping out of my sight once more, through the gate. He’s gone the better part of an hour, long enough for me and Destan to grow restless out there in the open. Eventually, we take our horse and retreat to a copse where we can watch the gate without being so exposed. Then we settle down to wait.

“Are you all right?” Destan asks after a few minutes of silence.

I pick at a wet leaf on my skirt, wondering how to answer without getting teary. Now is not the time to open the floodgates.

“Not really,” I say eventually.

“Me either.”

I look up at him and see a face twisted with worry.

“We saved him, but it’s like we didn’t, in a way.”

I nod, relieved to hear someone else voice the dark thought.

“But he’s still him, isn’t he? I mean, you’ve known him longer than I have. You’d know if there was something more wrong than just some missing memories, wouldn’t you?”

He bites his lip. “I think so. But we are our memories. This Ruskin…he reminds me of some version of him from way back, before we were really friends, back when it must’ve seemed to him like the whole court was against his existence. He was so young and so guarded then. Almost impossible to get to know.”

I think about what it will be like if Maidar can’t help us. The thought has been too difficult to examine up until now, but I need to at least consider it. What will happen if Ruskin never gets his memories back? If we have to start over from scratch, with me a stranger to him?

“But you managed it, didn’t you? You became his friend and earned his trust?” I say, trying to find the hope in that idea.

“I did. But it took a long time.” He shrugs, offering me a weak smile. “I’ll just have to do it again. It’ll be easier for you; you’ve already got the bond to help you. That, and I can tell he’s already fascinated by you.”

I grimace. “I don’t think we’re talking about the same person.”

Destan pulls a face. “As if you didn’t notice the way he was looking at you like he wanted to eat you up.”

I feel my cheeks grow pink. “Yes,” I say, looking down at my hands. “I could feel that through the bond, the physical attraction. But does that really mean anything? It’s just lust, isn’t it?”

Destan shakes his head. “Not when it’s that strong. Not when it comes to Ruskin. I know when he’s hiding feelings for someone, because it’s so rare. I saw it in the first week he brought you to Faerie. Why do you think I encouraged the two of you so much? I thought you’d make a nice break from all the pressure he’d been under, but it turns out I’m even more of a genius than I thought.”

“Excuse me? You were trying to prostitute me so Ruskin would be less stressed?”