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Chapter Nineteen
ONE MONTH LATER
Anah had been working herself ragged. She had thought it would help, would make her sleep as soon as she hit the bed. But it didn't. Nothing worked. Nothing could make her forget.
Hello Anah.
Ethan's told me about you for years, so it almost feels like I know you. He's always talked about you like you're his little sister.
But you and I both know the truth, don't we?
You're in love with him, and I'm betting you grabbed the chance to make him fall in love with you again.
I know I have no right to ask you of this, but I'm still going to ask it anyway. Because I love him. I truly love Ethan. I know better than anyone that I've made a lot of mistakes, and I know you won't believe me, but those mistakes were something I did because I wanted him to find someone else. Someone better...like you.
That's why when he came to me and asked me to marry him two weeks ago, I ended up making the biggest mistake of my life.
I said no.
When I should've said yes.
I need him back, Anah. And I believe he needs me back, too. He loves me still. He would never have stayed with me all these years if he didn't love me. After everything I did, he still stayed with me, and didn't you ever wonder why that was?
It's because he loves me.
So if you really love him and want Ethan to be truly happy, please don't make it hard for him. Please don't make him choose. Please let him go so he can be happy with me.
And so every night, Anah still cried herself to sleep. Cried out loud, cried until exhaustion overcame her. Cried so much that she always hoped once morning came, she would be all out of tears.
But she wasn't.
And so it started again.
She went to work. And she would be crying inside. Just endless tears that her heart couldn't stop shedding. And it hurt, the pain so unimaginable that she almost wanted to go crawling back to Ethan.
Can't it be me?
Please.
Can't it be me?
But she couldn't. Because she loved him. She couldn't go to him because she loved him, and wasn't that the greatest, most painful irony of all? That for the man she loved to be happy, she had to stay away?
ANOTHER DAY BEGAN.Anah paused for a rare moment to study her reflection in the mirror.I lost weight, Anah thought, and that wasn't good. Someone who knew Ethan might see her and tell him, and then he'd be worried, and he'd have to pretend—-
Tears pricked her eyes.
That was what had hurt most of all.
That he had told her he was happy.
And she had believed in his lie.
The tears started falling, but she hastily wiped them away.Stop it, Anah.She grabbed her backpack, slung it over one shoulder, and left her apartment.
But the tears still kept falling.
Stop it, Anah.