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"It doesn't feel right," Anah confessed.
"You're giving Coral Dawn the exercise she needs, so we're the ones who owe you actually."
"I guess."
An awkward silence fell between them then. Something like this would never have happened in the past,and it just showed, Anah thought sadly,how much things had changed between Ethan and her.
She had done a little digging online since Ethan's unexpected homecoming, and although the Blackwoods' IT team had done a good job at keeping Ethan's name out of the Internet, Anah's familiarity with the couple enabled her to put some puzzle pieces together.
Guilia and Ethan had definitely broken up, that much she was sure of. But while Guilia's Instagram stories always showed her out with other guys, Anah wasn't buying it. The other woman might be smiling in all the photos, but her eyes were...well...hollow.A part of her was missing, and even though it hurt Anah to think of this, she knew it was the same for Ethan. A part of him was missing, too, but because of Anah, he had been forced to pretend it wasn't so.
Hence tonight's dinner, Anah thought with a gulp,which even now she wasn't sure was the right thing to do.But it was too late for regrets. It had already taken all of her courage to approachthe twins about this, and since she only had less than a week to go before having to leave for Laramie for college...
Anah cleared her throat and was about to force herself to speak when Ethan suddenly asked, "Do you know where the twins are?"
It was a good an opening as any, and she cautiously admitted the truth. "They're not here." She saw his eyebrows shoot up and tried not to feel intimidated. "It's just the two of us, I'm afraid."
"Their loss then," Ethan managed to say lightly, "since Cook Nancy seems to think something's worth celebrating."
"Well...there is."
He frowned. "I can't think of—-"
"I'm leaving in three days for Laramie," she reminded him with a wry smile. "Cook probably thinks this is my farewell dinner or something."
Ethan stilled. "I didn't realize..."Anah was leaving?
"It's fine," she quickly assured him.
But it wasn't.
"I know you've had a lot of things on your mind lately..."
So did other people. Everyone had their own lives and their own shit to take care of, but he was willing to bet even his own brothers knew about Anah's impending departure.
It was just him and always only him, Ethan thought with self-contempt,that always seemed to take Anah for granted.
"I'm sorry." He was supposed to be Anah's closest friend, dammit. So why was it that he had always ended up shoving Anah in the back burner every time he had to sort out whatever new personal mess Guilia was in?
"How sorry?"
Despite her impish tone, the question was unlike Anah to ask, and it was enough to have him turn to her, startled and just a little wary. "How sorry do you want me to be?"
"The truth?"
Ethan frowned. "Of course I want you to be truthful—-"
Anah slowly shook her head. "What I mean is, I want you to be sorry enough to speak the truth." She saw Ethan stiffen, and because she already knew he was close to putting one and one together, Anah knew there wasn't any point in dragging out things longer.
"Because you already know, don't you?" Anah had rehearsed this part over and over last night, but her voice still ended up cracking in the end, and when she finally said the words—-
"I'm in love with you."
They hurt a thousand times more than she could ever imagine, and they hurt a thousand times more when she saw what she had already expected in Ethan's bleak gaze.
He knew she was in love with him.
But it didn't change a thing.