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But am I happy? No. After we broke up the last time, my dad made sure that I saw the light, holding one bad deed over my head.

I message Becca again.

You’ll still be on my team in beach volleyball, right?

Still no response.

Worrying over it won’t change her feelings, and I need to catch a plane for a meeting with my agent. He’s working on a deal to get me traded to the eastern side of the country, so I can be closer to my college friends.

With my bags packed for the reunion, I fly to Los Angeles. My girlfriend Stella and I will leave LAX for the CampusStallions reunion. She’s lives in LA and is shooting content for her social feeds. Stella’s from a wealthy family and would never have to work a day in her life, but she loves being an influencer.

For me, it was fun at first. I have hundreds of thousands of hockey fans who follow me, but she brought me into a world where people could care less about playing a game on ice, preferring sandy beaches and big-city content. Now, many of her fans follow me too. I’ve even received endorsements because of her.

As the plane taxis to a halt, I recall her saying if she wasn’t an influencer, she would just live off her trust fund, which is probably why I’ve continued to date her. She doesn’t need me or my money.

When I walk into my meeting with my agent, guess who is also here? My dad. I’m thirty years old, and he still feels the need to control my career.

“Dad, didn’t expect to see you.” I go in for a hug, but he sticks his hand out to shake it. Some things never change.

“I’m on my way to a charity golf tournament and thought I’d drop by. It never hurts to have someone who has your best interests at heart in negotiations.”

Ewan Stein, my agent, quirks a brow. He clicks his tongue and says, “I always place John’s success above my commissions.” He shakes my hand and says, “Have a seat.”

It’s a rarity in this field. Several of my teammates have gotten fucked by their agents, but Ewan is genuinely a good man. Becca would probably love him. Intelligent, handsome, lean, and fit. She’s always gravitated to the smart ones. Her motto in college was NO JOCKS, and I didn’t fit that bill. Becca would say repeatedly, “We can’t. You’re one of my brother’s best friends. You’re a hockey player. That’s a big double zero in my book. I can’t do that. It’s not the life I want.”

My dad sits beside me, stretching his arm as his fingers fold over my shoulder. Squeezing, he says, “Ewan, you’ll get John the longest-term contract for the most money. I’d prefer if he was onthe West Coast. Maybe the Vipers.” My dad’s voice is clear and commanding.

“Dad, I want to be east of the Mississippi. It will be easier for me to have a life.”

“Your life is with Stella who lives out here. Plus, I’m here.”

It’s becoming clear he’s more interested in Stella than I am. She’s someone to hang out with and fulfill other needs, but I can’t stop thinking about Becca. How she collapsed in my arms over the death of her Mamaw and how good it felt to be the one who could comfort her. Stella has never needed me, and I’m certain I haven’t everneededher. It’s convenient. That’s all, and that may make me a shitty person, but she’s using me too.

“Dad, no. If Stella loves me, she’ll follow me. She can take a selfie from anywhere.”

My dad’s jaw quivers, which means he’s about to explode. The veins bulge from his neck as his face reddens.

Ewan clears his throat. “Gentlemen, the Rattlers insist they don’t want to trade you. John, you led them to the playoffs for the first time in years. You understand why they don’t want to trade you. Plus, you and Corbin Shearer are the darlings of the NHL after the pink hair tribute.”

My cheeks lift as I smile, remembering that day. Even though we lost the playoffs, it was one of the first times in my professional career that I’ve felt fulfilled. Becca and Corbin’s grandmother had just passed away and Corbin wanted to honor his Mamaw at the game so we all dyed our hair pink. Was the feeling the result of being near Becca and consoling her? We never kissed that week, but after the pizza party, we went out for drinks and ended up at my hotel. Nothing happened sexually, but the fires burned under the surface.

We talked on the phone for weeks about her divorce. Her ex-husband had moved out, months earlier and she was lonely in her condo by herself. I’ve always been in love with Becca and I thought we were just taking it slow since she was trying to regain her identity and I was there listening, consoling and when I waswith her, I touched her so she knew I was there for her. Isn’t that what she wanted? Someone to pay attention to her? I guess not. The next week, she left me a voicemail.

“John, thank you for helping me through the most difficult time of my life. Divorcing Dennis was never in my plans, and Mamaw passing away before I had kids was… is devastating. You listened. You let me cry on your make-believe shoulder. You make me feel things that I cannot let myself feel. I can’t trust my emotions right now, and long distance is not something I can do. Please don’t call me. But thank you for being my friend when I needed one.”

A few days later, Stella shows back up on my doorstep. It didn’t work out with the professional baseball player she hooked up with. Turns out he has three children by three different women and asked Stella if she wanted children. And everyone knows Stella would never do anything to hinder her flat-toned stomach. And he didn’t like the fact that she was with my dad more than necessary.

In the beginning, my relationship with Stella was exciting, but now, it’s a carefully constructed shell for the media and my father.

Releasing a heavy breath, I ease my back down on the chair and run my fingers over my jaw. “I guess that’s a compliment that the Rattlers feel that way about me.”

“It is. And over the years, you’ve never been seen as the golden boy. And now you are. They want to sign you to an extension. It adds three years onto your contract and eight million a year. They want you to be the face of the franchise.”

This information makes me lean forward. I need to think about twenty-four million dollars.

“I’ll mull it over during my vacation. Practice starts soon, and I plan on enjoying my time with my old teammates and best friends.”

My dad presses his lips together and pushes himself to his feet. “Ewan, keep working on the LA angle. John needs to be on a higher profile team so he can get more endorsements. He canget millions in endorsements plus a contract that’s equitable on the West Coast.”