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CHAPTER ONE

Becca

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I dreamed of having the perfect family like my parents—a husband who can’t get enough of me, kids to snuggle, and a dog to play fetch in the back yard. Instead, I’m standing in the living room of my downtown condominium, divorced.

No husband asking where his yellow tie is or where we’re going to dinner.

No kids running around with sticky fingers and fighting over the last Pop-Tart.

No dog jumping on the couch, wagging his tail for me to pet him, then looking at me with pouty eyes, as I grab my briefcase to walk out the door.

Before I divorced Dennis, at least there was the occasional clinking of a wine glass or the thumping of fingers against a keyboard. Now, it’s noiseless.

I continue to tell myself that this is what I wanted. But is it? Maybe I don’t need sex in a marriage. Maybe companionship is enough. Who needs a peen?

I do.

At least Mamaw thought so. Before Mamaw passed away, she told me, “Queen Bee.” That’s her nickname for me. “Just likeCorbin, you need someone to widen your horizons, push you out of your comfort zone, and make your body quake,” she cackled, then coughed. Corbin’s my younger brother by one year and we may as well be twins, except our appearance.

“Mamaw!”

“Well, isn’t that why you wanted a divorce? You weren’t getting any lovin’.”

I shook my head before she wrapped me in her frail arms.

“My sweet Becca, you’ve made us all proud. You’re giving, intelligent, athletic, and stubborn. You told Dennis what you needed, and he couldn’t or didn’t want to give it to you. I think you were in love with a lifestyle. Fine wine and intellectual conversations. When what you need is a hell-raising, beer-drinking man who loves to be surrounded by friends and family. Dennis never wanted to be around our family or Corbin’s friends. Who doesn’t love all those sweet Stallions?”

She was right; Dennis preferred to be with his friends, only going to dinner with my friends if it was a work function.

I wrap my fingers tightly around my royal-blue, stainless-steel coffee mug with STALLIONS CHEER imprinted in white. My brother Corbin and his wife Oakley insist that I’ll find happiness. Oakley, who has no filter, keeps saying, “You need to quit worrying about who you think you should be with and be with a person who looks at you like you’re the bag of cotton candy at the county fair.”

Mamaw was one of a kind, always having a funny or interesting way of making her point. And Oakley could have been her granddaughter, and she’s right. I need to be someone’s cotton candy. I chuckle at the thought of someone licking me clean.

With divorce papers finalized and tucked away in the filing cabinet, nothing has filled the void of being alone. I’m working fifteen to twenty-hour days, and each day blurs into the next. There’s a never-ending supply of briefs and contracts that’s only broken by the pinging of phones and the buzzing of intercoms.

I sink into the couch while staring at my old cheer cup.Cheering for the Kentucky Stallions and making the USA Team has been the highlight of my life. And now that I think about it, it shouldn’t be. The pinnacle should have been the day I married Dennis. Who knew from the day he signed the separation papers that it would take another six months to dissolve the marriage? When two people agree, it should be quick and easy.

“My life sucks,” I scream as I beat one fist against the couch. Luckily, the coffee doesn’t spill over and burn my skin. Leaning my head back on the cushion, frustration consumes me at how I let my life spiral out of control.

My phone plays our college fight song, and I know it’s Corbin. Six of my nine siblings have a unique ringtone and once the three littles grow up, they will too.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask, trying to sound happy.

“Just wondering if you’re ready for the big Stallions reunion. I’m so happy you’re coming. It’s going to be epic.” Corbin’s voice exudes happiness. Before he found Oakley at the truck stop, he was focused and on the quiet side, but now he practically sings.

“I’m ready.”

“Are you? Because you sound depressed.”

Ignoring his question, I exhale into the phone and ask, “Is John still coming?”

“He is…” Corbin hesitates, “He’s…”

“What?”

“He’s back with his ex. She’s coming too.”

Great.