Page 68

“Who says I’ll let you do anything to me?”

“You were just dripping all over my fingers a couple minutes ago,bella. Let’s not delude ourselves.”

I groan softly, “Let’s change the topic. What do you like to do for fun? I feel like we’re constantly only talking about me.”

“Besides being Don?” he asks.

“Isn’t that your job? Do you genuinely enjoy being Don?”

He pauses to think on that for a second. I watch as he turns the question over.

“It’s a part of me. I was raised to become the Don. The Cosa Nostra is all I know.”

“But do you like it?” I press.

He smiles, “What do you want me to say,mi vida? That I don’t enjoy the role I have to play? That all the violence, the murder isn’t something I would choose?”

A soft breath escapes me and I can feel my heart thudding in my chest.

“Yes,” I answer honestly.

“It would make it easier for you, wouldn’t it? Saying that would make it easier for you to accept this thing between us,” he says softy, almost sadly. “Unfortunately, sweetheart. I can’t do that. Like I said it’s a part of me. I don’t know anything else. Being Don, having to do all that I’ve done… that’s me. You can either choose to accept it, or…”

“Or what?” I breathe, interrupting. “You took away my choice when you married me, didn’t you?”

“I chose you. I made you mine, Cassie. You don’t have to make me yours. Not if you don’t want to.”

My heart skips a beat at that. I never thought about it like that. And suddenly I don’t feel so helpless anymore. With those words, he’s given me some semblance of power. I stare at him for what feels like hours and he’s content to let me. Content to give me this one thing.

Our food arrives and is placed in front of us. Damien leans forward, breaking eye contact.

“Eat,bella,” he orders. And the he adds, his expression completely serious, “I like to watch football. Not the American kind, soccer.”

“What?” I ask with a surprised laugh.

“I never miss a match when Arsenal’s playing. We should watch one together sometime.”

I nod slowly, “I’d like that.”

We still have a long way together. But tonight feels like such a milestone. And suddenly it doesn’t matter to me that he doesn’t hate it. That he willingly chooses this life.

Frankly I’m running out of reasons why it should. Maybe I do want him. Maybe a part of me actually craves the darkness. Darkness fills voids too.

Damien might be just what I need to fill the void inside of me.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

DAMIEN

The date went well.

Despite the hiccup in the beginning, Cassie and I managed to find a way to enjoy the rest of the night. I’ve never spoken to someone for so long about the most mundane things. She has a way of bringing out parts of me I never knew existed. It feels quiet when she’s around. The kind of quiet where nothing else matters.

Even when neither of us are saying anything like right now. Even the silence feels complete with opportunity.

“What are you thinking about,mi vida?” I ask as we walk inside the house.

It’s been a long day and I’m sure she’s exhausted.