Page 43
Story: The Manor of Dreams
“The vines in the library. I saw them, and then they were gone the next morning.” Madeline paused. She unfurled her palm, revealing the scrapes. “I was out in the garden, too. And it… it hurt me.”
Aunt Rennie stood perfectly still. There was a brief pause. Then she said, with sudden force: “Stay away from that garden. Didn’t we tell you?”
“Okay. But—?”
“Stay in this house. Or even just—in your room. You’re safer there. And we’ll leave soon.”
“Safe from what?”
“Just do as I say.”
“What’s out there? Does Ma know?”
Aunt Rennie’s dark brown eyes trained on her, but they took on a strange, fevered look. Her high cheekbones were flushed with color.
“She never sees anything,” she said hollowly. “Or believes anyone. She called you crazy. Didn’t she?”
sixteen
AUGUST 2024
DAY 4 IN THE HOUSE
LUCILLEstared straight ahead at the bookshelves.
It is exhausting being your daughter.
Her eyes smarted. She tried not to think of how wounded Madeline had looked. But was she wrong? What good could her daughter do? Hadn’t this all been to protect her?
Lucille sat down at the desk. She laid the magazines to one side and sifted through years of pamphlets, take-out menus, stamps, and newspaper clippings. A righteous fury consumed the sick feeling. Hadn’t her entire life been about trying to provide her daughter with the opportunities she herself had? What more could Madeline demand? The words swam in front of her. She felt a heavy pressure behind her eyes. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she picked up her phone and called Daniel.
Ma had liked her ex-husband. She barely acknowledged whatever Rennie’s marriage with that art collector was. Neither did Lucille, to be honest. Butshehad taken pains to do everything right. She met Daniel Wang at law review in their Stanford days, and from the moment she spoke to him it had been a meticulous battle of wills. He had a quiet, ruthless confidence, and Lucille fell faster than she could ever allow herself to admit. She went to his house for the holidays and his parents made her beef noodles. Lucille ached with happiness to see a Chinese family that still gathered around the kitchen table. She and Daniel both made partner at their respective law firms within two years of each other. They competed with each other, fought with each other,fucked each other with that same reciprocal ferocity. She liked that she was always trying to impress him, and vice versa. They’d raced each other to become their most successful and virtuous selves.
But recent years had strained them, her congressional campaign most of all. Missed school pickups and events wore on him. When she found out she had lost her county by a few points, Daniel turned away from her, tense with shame, before he reached out to halfheartedly comfort her. She’d shut herself away from him; she preferred to process her pain in private. They both did. She’d failed him and herself. It was unforgivable. Two months later, she discovered photos of his firm’s female partner on his phone.
Now he picked up on the second ring. “Lucy?”
She swallowed. “Am I a bad mother?”
“What?”
“I just want to know. Tell me. You were there. Did I never care about my daughter?”
He sighed. “What exactly are you trying to say? What did Madeline do?”
“Was I a monster who focused on her future career and nothing else? After all the years I put her through private school and all her extracurriculars? Is that it? Is that true?” She waited a beat. Already she was lining up arguments in her head to eviscerate his points.
But when he spoke his voice was gentle. “You’re just ambitious, Lucy. You know I loved that about you. I always have.”
She was taken aback by the tenderness of it. To her shock, tears spilled out.
“But you did…” He paused. “You had your own agenda. You always prioritized your achievements. I don’t know. Sometimes you did leave us behind. And that hurt me. And our kid.”
Neither of them spoke. She heard the background noise of his office through the silence. “It was the campaign, wasn’t it?”That ended us.
She heard him exhale hard through his nose. “In a way, yes.”
“So I’m responsible for everything that happened,” Lucille said icily. He loved her ambition and yet couldn’t stand heractuallydoing what it took to accomplish her dreams. “I ruined everything.”
Aunt Rennie stood perfectly still. There was a brief pause. Then she said, with sudden force: “Stay away from that garden. Didn’t we tell you?”
“Okay. But—?”
“Stay in this house. Or even just—in your room. You’re safer there. And we’ll leave soon.”
“Safe from what?”
“Just do as I say.”
“What’s out there? Does Ma know?”
Aunt Rennie’s dark brown eyes trained on her, but they took on a strange, fevered look. Her high cheekbones were flushed with color.
“She never sees anything,” she said hollowly. “Or believes anyone. She called you crazy. Didn’t she?”
sixteen
AUGUST 2024
DAY 4 IN THE HOUSE
LUCILLEstared straight ahead at the bookshelves.
It is exhausting being your daughter.
Her eyes smarted. She tried not to think of how wounded Madeline had looked. But was she wrong? What good could her daughter do? Hadn’t this all been to protect her?
Lucille sat down at the desk. She laid the magazines to one side and sifted through years of pamphlets, take-out menus, stamps, and newspaper clippings. A righteous fury consumed the sick feeling. Hadn’t her entire life been about trying to provide her daughter with the opportunities she herself had? What more could Madeline demand? The words swam in front of her. She felt a heavy pressure behind her eyes. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she picked up her phone and called Daniel.
Ma had liked her ex-husband. She barely acknowledged whatever Rennie’s marriage with that art collector was. Neither did Lucille, to be honest. Butshehad taken pains to do everything right. She met Daniel Wang at law review in their Stanford days, and from the moment she spoke to him it had been a meticulous battle of wills. He had a quiet, ruthless confidence, and Lucille fell faster than she could ever allow herself to admit. She went to his house for the holidays and his parents made her beef noodles. Lucille ached with happiness to see a Chinese family that still gathered around the kitchen table. She and Daniel both made partner at their respective law firms within two years of each other. They competed with each other, fought with each other,fucked each other with that same reciprocal ferocity. She liked that she was always trying to impress him, and vice versa. They’d raced each other to become their most successful and virtuous selves.
But recent years had strained them, her congressional campaign most of all. Missed school pickups and events wore on him. When she found out she had lost her county by a few points, Daniel turned away from her, tense with shame, before he reached out to halfheartedly comfort her. She’d shut herself away from him; she preferred to process her pain in private. They both did. She’d failed him and herself. It was unforgivable. Two months later, she discovered photos of his firm’s female partner on his phone.
Now he picked up on the second ring. “Lucy?”
She swallowed. “Am I a bad mother?”
“What?”
“I just want to know. Tell me. You were there. Did I never care about my daughter?”
He sighed. “What exactly are you trying to say? What did Madeline do?”
“Was I a monster who focused on her future career and nothing else? After all the years I put her through private school and all her extracurriculars? Is that it? Is that true?” She waited a beat. Already she was lining up arguments in her head to eviscerate his points.
But when he spoke his voice was gentle. “You’re just ambitious, Lucy. You know I loved that about you. I always have.”
She was taken aback by the tenderness of it. To her shock, tears spilled out.
“But you did…” He paused. “You had your own agenda. You always prioritized your achievements. I don’t know. Sometimes you did leave us behind. And that hurt me. And our kid.”
Neither of them spoke. She heard the background noise of his office through the silence. “It was the campaign, wasn’t it?”That ended us.
She heard him exhale hard through his nose. “In a way, yes.”
“So I’m responsible for everything that happened,” Lucille said icily. He loved her ambition and yet couldn’t stand heractuallydoing what it took to accomplish her dreams. “I ruined everything.”
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