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Not that I’m really that. Ours was a marriage of convenience, not love.

Callahan isn’t capable of love, not the kind I need and want.

He killed my father.

Callahan killed him.

Right in front of me.

“Arnold,” I whisper. “What am I supposed to do?”

His soft brown eyes lift to me, but he’s got problems, too. Like his pet cat’s paws on his nose. I lovingly scratch his ears.

No matter how many times I try to rouse my fury and hate and disgust at Callahan, deep down I knew it would happen.

And yes, I saw the gun, too.

I heard the hateful words spewed from Dad’s lips.

The man would have shot me to spite Callahan.

I stood there, gaping as he lifted that second gun and pointed it at me.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I wait until the roiling sea of tangled emotions rushes through me, making my stomach turn.

I just stood there.

Like a fool.

Making Callahan pull that trigger to save me.

“Maybe he’d have done it anyway,” I muse.

I like telling my aching heart that. I like telling myself when I can’t sleep and I’m exhausted from crying that he killed Dad to get all the power and his money.

I trick myself into thinking it helps.

But it doesn’t. Not really.

Because he didn’t.

He did it to save my life.

I’ve heard from Declan that Mom’s in charge now. She put Mikey in the role of running the family, and she says she offered all of her family power over to Callahan because my father married into the powerful mafia family. It wasn’t his by blood. After marrying Mom, he went from being a made man to running the organization as the boss. All of the clout and influence had come from her.

Callahan refused the offer, said they would keep things asis. Mikey is now working for him as a partner, and they’re both united and separate, exactly according to the contract terms.

Viv’s called to check in, though I haven’t called her back.

I’m not sure I want to. I mean, I’m glad she’s safe. Mom said Viv came home after she and Headley broke up. I guess with my father dead, he didn’t have much to go on for any case he might have been building against the family, and Viv was useless to him after that.

Makes me feel a little vindicated since she pretty much turned her back on me. I’m not sorry she got her heart broken.

And Callahan.

Callahan.

My God, I want to hate him so much because he’s a coward and a liar.