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“I can see you starting to panic. It’s okay,” Cass tells me, her hand reaching across to squeeze my bicep.

“It just feels weird. I mean, it’s not like I only sleep with people I hate, but he genuinely feels like a good friend now, and I think there are some feelings there beyond desire. I’m usually good at compartmentalising people. You’re a friend. I can adore you and I know I won’t sleep with you. What the fuck am I doing? I’m trying to be friends with him and keep fucking him. Shit, shit, shit.”

“I know it’s hard for you to share stuff like this, but I feel privileged that you are comfortable enough to talk to me about it. We can discuss it anytime, you know that, right? It won’t go beyond us. If you need a sounding board, I’m here.”

She smiles at me sweetly.

“Thank you, I appreciate you. It’s not easy, but maybe this opening up thing isn’t too bad.” I wrinkle my nose at her, causing her to giggle.

“It’s okay to develop feelings for someone you’re sleeping with, Abby.”

“Yeah, for most people. But that’s not how I usually do things.” I gnaw at my bottom lip, staring through the glass towards the gym sightlessly.

What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

Chapter twenty-six

Abby

Avoid him. That’s what I’m doing. After my chat with Cassidy, I realised how deep I’d gone, which was solidified as the week went on and I found myself missing Cam. It’s now Friday, and I’ve not had any contact with him since Monday morning. The text he sent me on Tuesday asking if I had any time went unanswered as did the follow up he sent me this morning. My gut twists with guilt.

Luckily, work has been keeping me busy after my couple of days off. One of our bar staff has been sick, and I pounced at the chance to take on extra shifts. I’m on my third day of opening up and working until closing but I have a problem…

Tom is standing at the customer side of the bar, hands on hips and a serious frown on his face.

“What?” I ask, waspishly. I can guess what he’s thinking, but if he has something to moan about, he can say it out loud.

“Why are you here? Every time I arrive and every time I leave, you’re here. How many hours have you done this week?”

I shrug. “Penny’s off sick. I didn’t mind moving things around to cover her shifts. It saves relying on anyone else to fill in.” I continue to polish the glasses, which I’ve been doing since I got here about half an hour ago.

“You don’t have to do it all, Abs. The other staff would happily take on some extra hours. And I don’t mind filling in.”

Another shrug. “Well, you don’t have to. I am happy to do it. My mum left.” The last part comes out without my planning to say it. I scrunch up my nose. Fuck it, maybe it will help him understand why I’ve worked every hour the pub has been open this week plus some extra. “I was at a loose end.”

“Because of your mum?” His brow quirks up at an angle, causing my cheeks to flush. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, she’s gone to stay with a friend, but I weirdly miss her.”Fuck, no I don’t, it’s someone else I’m missing.I raise my gaze and my chin towards the ceiling. “There might be some other stuff going on too.” I refuse to look him in the eye as I say it, but in my periphery, I spot him sitting on one of the bar stools.

“I’m here if you want to talk about anything,” he says in that annoyingly kind tone he has. The one that seems to encourage me to spill my guts, even when that’s not the plan.Why does he have to be a decent guy?Why can’t he just be some arsehole that doesn’t care how hard his staff work because it gives him more opportunity to skive off?

I grip the glass in my hand, wiping it with the cloth until it sparkles, but force myself to set it down gently on the shelf rather than ram it down hard. I lift the next one in the row. I press my lips together, determined to keep my mouth shut even with these bullshit, empathetic silent vibes he’s giving me. I scowl in his direction, and he’s looking at me with a thoughtful expression on his face. He opens his mouth to say something else, but we are both distracted when the front door opens.

“We’re not quite open yet,” Tom calls out.

Cam saunters in, wearing his slutty, dusty workman trousers with all the pockets and the padded knees along with a tight black t-shirt that has his biceps popping. His thick, black hair looks perfect, despite the layer of dust on his clothes, and I eat up the delectable sight of him, squeezing my thighs together as I realise how much I’ve missed him.

“Sorry, Tom. Would it be okay if I had a quick word with Abby?” he asks with a polite smile.

“Of course,” Tom says, but he makes no move to leave us to it. He pulls his phone out from his pocket and starts scrolling. My jaw drops in astonishment.What the fuck is he doing? Why doesn’t he leave?

Cam clears his throat, having stepped up to the bar a bit further along. “Avoiding me, Abby?” I peel my gaze away from Tom to where he stands, a look of challenge on his face.

I draw in a breath, annoyance making my chest tight.What is it with men today?Usually, when I find myself asking that question, I check my period tracking app. But I don’t think I need to today. These two are clearly here to fuck with me.

I strut down the bar to face Cameron. I stare into his piercing chestnut eyes and try to work out how to answer that question.

“Is your phone working?” He changes tack, the look of challenge changing to one of concern.