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Because behind her silence, behind her calm façade, a storm was brewing. And I intended to chase it down—relentlessly, ruthlessly.

To consume it.

To consume her.

Chapter twenty-nine

Selina

“But… but have you actually killed before ?” I asked, grimacing despite myself, then quickly pressed a hand to my forehead. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disrespect your… your profession,” I added hastily, not even knowing how to categorize their work. Bodyguards disguised as household staff. Assassin housemaids?

The two women working behind the stove, preparing dinner, burst out laughing while Elif smiled and shook her head beside me as we peeled apples for dessert.

“Rest assured, Miss Selina, we have never harmed an innocent,” Velma said, chopping a carrot so quickly and finely that I struggled to follow her movements with my eyes.

“We only protect,” Sena added softly, glancing at me hesitantly, as if gauging my reaction. And I should probably have felt scared—uncomfortable, even—living under the same roof as two assassins in addition to the mafia men around me. But instead—and quite comically—I felt reassured. Reassured to know there was yet another layer of protection for the children, another barrier between danger and the boys.

“I see,” I said, returning Sena’s smile before reaching for another apple from the basket. But before I could peel it, a hand wrapped around my wrist, lifting it gently above my head, and my eyes widened as I watched Nikolai sink his teeth into it, his gaze locked onto mine. My mouth went dry, and I held my breath.

It felt like everything had frozen around us—or maybe it truly had. I no longer heard Velma’s knife against the cutting board or Elif peeling apples.

“What are you doing ?” I whispered without realizing, my breath shallow.

He looked at me, raising an eyebrow, “trying to regain my strength—you know, the strength I lost after the sedative you injected me with.” His voice was dark, meant to intimidate me, but instead, it did the complete opposite. I think… I think I squeezed my thighs together. Oh my God.

But his words, fortunately or unfortunately, extinguished the dark desire starting to burn inside me.

“A… a sedative can indeed have side effects such as confusion or disorientation, paradoxical effects in some cases, where the person becomes agitated or anxious instead of calm, drowsiness, slowing of motor and cognitive functions, decreased alertness…” I gasped when he wrapped an arm around my waist, lifting me from my seat and setting me on my feet.

He grabbed my peeler and tossed it toward Sena, who caught it effortlessly without taking her eyes off us, a small smile playing on her lips.

Nikolai took my hand, pulling me with him toward the stairs.

“Don’t wait for us for dinner. We’ll eat later,” he said, and I followed him like a lost chick, too stunned to resist or understand his purpose. I had expected to be ignored, pushed away, maybe even despised—but this?

I followed him to his bedroom, trying to make sense of his intentions. And I couldn’t help but feel a creeping doubt, a doubt fueled by eight years of hell.

No. Nikolai would never hurt me. Never.

He closed the door behind him and turned to face me as I stood in the middle of the room, my hands clenched against my stomach.

“I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, Nikolai. But I wanted to help, I…” My words trailed off as he slowly approached, measured and deliberate. And I couldn’t help but step back.

“Nikolai…” I tried to call his name, but he ignored me. And once again, instead of feeling fear, I felt something else entirely. My breathing turned shallow, my heart pounded against my ribs.

“Angry ?” he suddenly asked in a dark voice, making me nearly jump.

“Furious, then ?” I asked in a small voice, and I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through me when his lips curved into a slow smile.

“Ah, Selina. My sweet Selina, who is actually so strong and courageous.”

My legs went weak at his words. Me ? Strong ? Courageous ?

No, I never was. Never had been. I was—and still am—the girl who was locked in a cage by a monster. The girl he destroyed, leaving only a shell behind. And a shell was not what Nikolai deserved.

His hand suddenly reached out, gripping my forearm when I stumbled, my feet catching on the Turkish rug. I pressed my lips together as tears burned my eyes.

“That’s not true,” I whispered, lowering my face as his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against him. “I was never strong or courageous. Especially not when he locked me up. I cried, I begged him every night. Sometimes, I even… even wet myself,” I confessed, my throat tightening, and Nikolai’s arm tensed against me. But he didn’t speak—he just let me continue.