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Not when it comes to Amy.
Perhaps doing my best for my people means being a king who doesn’t hold himself back out of fear.
Today is going to be the last day I ever allow myself to live like that.
I stand and look out the window over the gardens where people are setting up the seating for the wedding to the right of the fountain.
Deception was never the way to handle public opinion of me.
It might have brought me to Amy, and I won’t regret the choice because of that alone, but it’s time to stop lying and hiding who I am for the sake of a few people’s opinions.
In time, they’ll learn to trust me as their king.
Daphne pokes her head into the room. “Are you almost ready? Amy is. I thought it would be good to arrange a first look between the two of you. I’ve seen it done at other weddings. It just gives you both a chance to connect before going out there and putting everything out for the world to see.”
I nod, smoothing down my tie before tucking the letter into the top drawer of my desk. “That’s a good idea, but there’s something I need to do first.”
Her eyebrows pull together as she sweeps into the room, the skirt of her dress trailing behind her. “And what’s that?”
“I have to go capture the sun.”
CHAPTER 22
AMY
Ilove him, and he doesn’t love me, and that’s going to be okay.
The words play on repeat in my mind as I stand in front of the mirror, glancing down at the beading over the sheer panels on my dress. The skirt hugs my thighs before it flares out just above my knees, trailing behind me.
It’s by far the most beautiful dress I’ve ever put on, but there’s something that doesn’t sit right about going through with this.
Daphne sweeps back into the room with a smile. “Well, this is it. In a couple minutes, we’re going to go downstairs, and the ceremony will begin.”
Gabby sips from her flute of champagne. “There’s still time to run if you’re thinking about it.”
“When were we thinking about running?” Daphne asks, eyes wide and mouth dropping open. “You can’t do that. I know this is difficult, but give him a little time.”
“I don’t think time is going to fix us, but I want to try anyway.” I smile as Daphne grabs the veil and nestles the comb into my wavy hair, disguising it behind the white florals the stylist weaved into it.
“The two of you are going to be happy together. It’s just going to take Xander a little while to come around to it.” Daphne gives me a sympathetic smile.
“I know you all think that he’s going to have some miraculous change in personality and decide that maybe he could love me, but it’s not going to happen. We all just need to accept that this is what life is going to look like until the divorce.”
“Well, maybe I should go then.” Xander’s reflection appears in the mirror as he stands in the doorway.
Daphne gives me a sheepish smile. “I came back to tell you that he was on board for the first look.”
“A first look?” I turn and stare at her, wondering how she could set me up like this when I told her everything that was already wrong with the marriage.
Daphne nods. “Yeah. Gabby, let’s go downstairs and find out where the wedding planner wants us for now.”
The pair scurry out of the room, shutting the door behind them.
Xander scrubs a hand over his mouth. “You look beautiful, Amy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look more beautiful than you do right now.”
“Thanks,” I say, tone cold as I watch him.
One part of me hopes that he stays on the other side of the room and doesn’t come anywhere near me. I know I won’t be able to think with him too close.