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Stepping beneath the spray, I try to push those thoughts out of my mind. I’m happy for Katherine and know how she’s always wanted to spend some time in Paris, but it hits differently when the four of us aren’t together.
I don’t know what that means. What any of it means. And with this attraction between me and Gabe brewing, I feel like I’m on a spin cycle.
After I finish my shower, I wrap a towel around my hips. I need sixty-four ounces of water and a protein shake, in that order.
I’m not surprised to find Gabe gone when I walk back into the living room. He’s got a job to go to. A whole company worth of people relying on him.
What do I have?
Gabe
I pinch my nose, ready for the day to be over. I’m paying for taking the day off yesterday. Back-to-back meetings. Far too many people wanting my attention. Not needing it. No. I get the feeling that the uptick in activity is simply to get a look at me, to see if the CEO is besotted with the #twomilliondollargirl.
Stupid hashtags.
I can’t remember the last time I cared who someone was dating. Other than Alex. I always care what he’s up to. Not that he dates.
You know, other than flying Katherine halfway around the world to the most romantic city on the planet. That’s one hell of a date.
“Gabe?”
I zone back in and find my head of public relations staring back at me, brows lifted above her black-rimmed glasses. My afternoon can of Coke sits on my desk between us, untouched.
“Sorry. Long day.”
She sits back in her chair, tablet resting in her lap, still looking at me like a bug beneath a microscope. Is it that wild, that uncommon for two best friends to?—
Never mind. I already know the answer to that question.
“This really doesn’t bother you, does it?” she asks.
“The press?”
“What they’re writing about you.”
“Should I care what a bunch of narrow-minded people who’ve never met me think?”
“If it hurts the company, yes.”
The company.
I suck in a breath and hold it.
Somewhere in the last seventeen years, it stopped being my company and becamethecompany. When did that happen?
I let the breath out.
I get it. Honestly, I do. We have employees, people, and assets to protect. And I take all of that seriously. Their livelihoods are important to me.
But it’s unfathomable for people to think I’m that different this week than I was last week.
Except, Iamdifferent.
My heart squeezes, almost gleeful at the discovery. Or rather, the admission.
For the first time since my micro-payment pipe dream went live almost two decades ago, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to make improvements and expand our reach. And it’s not just because I want a massage and a nap.
I’m utterly bored with all the bullshit crossing my desk. I’m frustrated that I have to talk to PR about another statement. I miss coding.