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“You sleep on it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night.” I hang up and head back to the stove, bypassing Reggie.

“If you follow the rules, you’re going to be safe,” Reggie calls, trotting after me. He peels potatoes while I put more butter in the pan. It sizzles to nothing almost instantly, so I lower the heat, working on muscle memory after living in hotels for over a year. I get the steaks and the onions that Reggie sliced into the pan as Reggie reduces the potatoes to perfect slices in seconds.

“I can see you’re good with a knife, too. Sounds like that’s going to be a good thing,” I mumble, eyes stinging, and not just from the smoking butter.

“I don’t know a lot about the program, but I know they have a good record as long as you follow the rules and don’t get sloppy. The rules are restrictive.”

“And lonely,” I whisper.

“But... you can have family go with you. Family... or partners.”

“Uh-huh. But my parents have their own lives, and their community—for as small and tacky as it may appear to outsiders—is safe and supportive. At least to people who fit the mode. And I can’t ask my parents and siblings to put their lives on hold to go into hiding with me—probably forever.” I push the onions around as the smell of sizzling steak tries to lift my mood. Steaks remind me of Daddy’s payday around Christmas whenthe bonus money always bought us a steak dinner at Belvedere’s Steakhouse, the only “nice” restaurant in town. My tears hit the skillet, making the grease pop and spit on my bare arms.

Reggie reaches past me and adjusts the heat for a moment. “I didn’t mean them. I meant... me.”

Let the steaks burn. I whip around to face him, nearly singeing off my arm hair on one side. “Excuse me?”

Reggie's thin but beautifully shaped lips are tight, his square chin jutting forward. “I’m offering. To go with you when you move into the program. That means I’ll go with you for orientation, too.”

There’s undercover, and then there’s insane. Reggie is insane.

I must be insane, too. I want to yell, “Yes!”

But I don’t. “You can’t do that.”

“I can. Or...” He licks those lips, and I remember his hot, heavy kisses, the way his tongue moved expertly against mine. “If you don’t want me in the program with you, but you just want me to meet you there, just to be where you are, I can do that. Don’t ask how I’d find you, but I would.” His hand brushes across my collarbone, then rests on his chest. “We are bound together. Apart or together.”

“I can’t let you do that. You have a life. We don’t know each other that well.”

Sure as fuck didn’t know Matteo, did I? And I lived with him for a lot longer, but I trust Reggie a lot more.

“I can go where I want. I know where I am supposed to be. I know where Iwantto be, Therese. With you.”

Chapter Eleven

Therese stalls. I think she wants to say yes, but she’s afraid to hurt me.

It’s so refreshing. Sometimes, I haven’t been treated as a person. I’ve never dated, but I have escorted women to events before, and it was clear that I was the accessory, something functional. Therese sees me as her equal, a person worth protecting.

To a golem, that’s practically an aphrodisiac.

“That’s so sweet. I... I would like that, Reggie, really. But I-I know that’s not right. It’s something you’d regret. It could put you in danger.”

I snort. “That’s normal for me.”

“But you’d have to leave this place! I would hate for you to do that! Even if you're being serious—”

“I’m not much for jokes,” I admit, suddenly struck by how much Therese and I tease and banter with each other, how much she makes me laugh. No one has ever done that—and it’s not because I’ve known her longer and given her more of a chance—because I haven’t.

“Well. Even if you’re serious and I want to take you up on it, I can’t. I won’t trust myself not to make the same mistake twice. I’m not going to rush.” She sets her chin —I never noticed how cute her chin is before—and nods once, crossing her arms.

I want to point out that this doesn’t feel rushed to me. It feels like I’ve been waiting for her forever, and she’s been coming to her own conclusions about what would really makeher happy for the past year! We’re finally ready to meet someone new. Someone special. Someone to go the distance with nothing hidden.

But it’s like trying to convince a nervous skydiver that the jump window is now and only now. I’m airborne, and Therese’s still back in the plane.

WE EAT DINNER WITHOUTtalking about anything big. The tension diminishes the flavor of the steak, frozen green beans, and mashed potatoes, but it’s still the best I’ve had.