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Unless she really did call him, and he’s buying into what she’s told him about me.

My purse slides off my shoulder to drop on the floor, spilling out its contents.

My brain takes over to run this around in my head

He’s cancelled before. We’ve both forgotten. It happens.

Somehow, those convictions ring hollow as Maman’s voice begins to repeat in my head. How I’m not one of them. Not a Broussard. It completely drowns out the positive logic I’m trying my best to keep through the situation. Positive thoughts bring positive outcomes. But, a measly few droplets of water won’t snuff out the fire of my pain.

My heart drops to my weakening knees. So many little things pile up in my head as my knees finally give out. The pain in my butt from dropping to the floor is barely noticeable.

Did Maman poison him against me? I wouldn’t doubt it. But why would he believe her about anything dealing with me? He knows me. Better than anyone in the family.

My mind whispers over all the clues I’m trying to ignore.

He’s never once hugged me. He’s never told me he loved me. At best, he seems to tolerate me. I frustrate him more often than not because of my pranks and general lack of pity for him.

Instead of showing him all the negative feelings I’ve had about his struggles, the guilt, the remorse and heartache, I gave him the positive, stand strong attitude. No matter what. I always made him pick himself back up so he knew he could do it. Was that where I went wrong? Should I have babied him more?

All I can think is, why? What did I do? To him especially.

All I’ve ever tried to offer my family is love. Even when I’m hurt. Even when I’m angry. I’ve kept every one of my troubles out of their eyes.

I feel like we’re all stuck on an island, and a ship to take us home is in sight. And they’re telling me I can’t be saved. They’re leaving their trash behind.

My shaky hands enter the passcode to open the phone. Before I can text him back to ask himwhy, Maman’s name scrolls across the phone. The ring startles me. I can hear that death knell ringing all around me now.

Helpless, I answer.

“Hello?” I ask weakly. My mind is racing around, chasing its own tail in a nerve-racking rush that won’t stop. I want to ask her why she hates me so much. I don’t have the guts for it. I can’t hear her admit one more time that I’m like my father. It will break me.

I liked myself better when I didn’t know the answers to my questions.

“I cannot believe you,” her voice comes out as a shaky whisper filled with rage.

I look down at the floor, ashamed and guilty, even though I have no idea what I’ve done now. My silence seems to enrage her even more.

“You’re shameless. And so eaten up by hate that you don’t care, do you?”

My lips tremble as the tears finally flood out of my eyes.

“What did Ido?” I whisper plaintively. I don’t understand any of this anymore. What have I ever done to these people, myfamily, to be treated this way?

“This website is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. And here you are, so proud of it. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

My brows furrow, my brain taking a new track downhill. One that’s even more filled with dangerous curves and drop-offs.

“Website?” I murmur in confusion.

Her sudden shout startles me so badly that I almost drop my phone.

“Don’t you pretend you don’t know! If I hadn’t seen that disgraceful post from your boyfriend, I would have never known about it, would I? Were you waiting for Asher to see it? For him to have his nose rubbed into your mess and dredge up his pain? Is that what you want? Well, too bad. I already told him about this mess, and he’s just as furious as I am. You leave my baby alone!”

I’m speechless. There’s only one website that I know of. Poe would not have let it leak. How did she see it? How does she know about Poe?

And what does she mean about dredging up Asher’s pain? The site has nothing to do with him. Unless she means I’m telling tales about Asher so I can get a job covering scars.

Is this really what she thinks of me? And Asherbelievesit?