Page 19

There’s only one thing I can do to ease all my fears. The sudden paranoia that I’m going to make a mistake I can’t come back from. I need to call my Maman.

There are a lot of pitfalls with it. Sure, I can get my questions answered. But that comes with a price. Everything does with Maman.

She’s been so happy with Asher finding his One that she might lay off me a bit. Daniella and Sophia haven’t found theirs yet, but Suzette has. Three perfect people for her. I can’t be jealous of her. I have no idea how she handles all three of them at once. I’d lose my mind.

Maman’s joy in Asher settling down has gotten extra weird during our phone calls. I haven’t been calling as much to keep it at a minimum.

She has spoiled Ash ever since we found out what had happened to him. I’m not ashamed to say I’m the same way with him. If he asked me for one of my pinkies, I would give it to him with no question. Because of this, I’ve been teased mercilessly by my family over the years. Taunted enough that it stopped being a joke and started to be a battle. It got worse when I moved to the same town as Asher.

No one knows the move was for my sanity.

Yeah, a part of me wanted to be close if he needed the support. The rest of me fell in love with the town. There’s always something going on, sights to see, both good and bad. It’s an experience. Daniella is in love with where she moved too. Neither of us can picture being anywhere else. The only difference is that she’s not close to Asher.

Maman and the rest of the family see me staying here as some kind of attempt to cling to Asher instead of living my own life.

She says I should move back because I’m smothering Asher. I’m leading him into evil by doing tattoos all over him. My influence has ruined him.

Supposedly, my only reason for living here doesn’t need me butting my way into his life anymore.

I haven’t even met any of them. It’s ridiculous to imagine that I’m hovering over him all day and night. I don’t even know where he lives now.

No amount of arguing has ever changed her mind, but I’m still trying to point out the obvious and hope that she finally looks.

If I point out the fact that I’m settled here, she complains about me being a tattoo artist. She thinks it’s disrespectful.

She didn’t stop harassing me about Asher’s tattoos until he admitted he liked them. After that, it was a quiet acceptance, and no apologies for all the tirades I endured. But she still hasn’t given up on making me quit doing what I love.

Maman hasn’t approved of anything I’ve done for a long time now. Being away from her has helped me become the personIwant to be. All I have to do is brush off all her weird rants about my life. It’s mine, not hers. I’ll live to please me, thank you.

I’m a little worried that my need to call her will lead me back into a negative mindset and undo all the work I’ve done to heal myself. I consider something like this worth the risk. Plus, I miss my Maman. The sweet parts of her, that is. If she could show me that care just once, it would be worth it. I haven’t heard her voice be affectionate in so long.

Calling her now is going to be tricky. I’m not doing exactly what she wants with my life. Her micromanaging has worsened over the last couple of months.

Maybe she’ll lighten up if I admit I found my One.

She’ll finally realize that I’m here for me alone and let it go. I’ll get some peace from her never-ending crusade to turn me into another person.

It sounds like it would never happen.

Maybe I shouldn’t call.

I debate it all day. Every time Poe’s eyes meet mine, the need to jump him or run gets worse. I’m a mess by the time he leaves for the night.

As soon as he disappears from the windows, Damon turns to me with a scowl.

“Will you please put that man out of his misery? It’s gotten uncomfortable for me to watch this. I’m ready to slip you a muscle relaxer so you’ll give in. You want each other, go for it. What’s the big deal?”

I’ve explained the One theory to Damon before. He thinks it’s hilarious hoodoo and hasn’t let it go. I’m not saying anything about this to him.

“I’m nervous,” I mutter as I clean up my table.

“Which means you’rereallyinto him.” Damon nods with wide eyes like I’m an idiot. Maybe I am.

“I’m scared,” I say, sitting up and glaring at him. “I’m afraid that being with him is going to change everything for me.”

“Would that be so bad?” Damon glances around in confusion. “What’s he going to do? Force you to close up shop? We both know he’s the reason we’re getting paid this week.”

“And when he loses interest and walks away? All that will go away, too.” I don’t believe the words. It’s fear driving them out of me while my heart refuses to listen.