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I head over to say hi, and she gives me a big hug. I don’t know why I ever felt threatened by her. She was always so nice. It was just me in those early days, scared of my surroundings and insecure around all of Zayden’s women.
There are so many reminders of how far I’ve come—Zayden talking to my family, beer in hand, red and blue cushions from my very own store dotting the outdoor furniture, me and Vero talking like old friends, my own baby Brooke chasing her sister all around theyard…
To think we almost lost Olivia five years ago. To think she could be living a life of uncertainty and maybe even pain had she stayed with her mom while her mother goes through tough times. Never do I want to eliminate Olivia’s relationship with her mother. Never do I want to completely replace her either, but it finally became important enough to Zayden that we keep full custody of her, that we give her the best life we possiblycan.
And so here weare.
I watch it all unfold like I’m behind a sheet of glass.
Life could not be better. Inside of me, Rain wriggles around, a sweet reminder that life goeson.
I cannot believe I found my soul mate in the weirdest of ways. Who knew, when I walked into that MetroLife Building, that it would yield me this? That five years later, I’d be married to my boss and we’d have three beautiful children. Who knew that my parents would live closer to me, and that Zayden and I could ever be this happy?
Glancing across the yard, I see him watching me. Zayden. He knows I’m thinking about it all, because this happens to me a lot. I get emotional, especially during this pregnancy. I fade away, step out of myself, and contemplate it all with childlike wonder. His smile tells me he feels the same. His eyes crinkle with dusty blue, and I know that if he had to do it all again—the pain, the loss, the heartbreak—just to reach me and the girls again, he’d doit.
‘Cause that’s what you do when you adore who you’rewith.
You walk through fire time and time again just to meet them again.
And once you have them close, you hold on tight and never letgo.
THEEND