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“Not today, sweetness. One bad move and I could hurt your arm.”
“It doesn’t hurt right now ...,” I say.
“Jude ...”
“I want you, and I want to make love with you. Is that so much to ask? You’re leaving soon, and from what you’ve said, I don’t know if we’ll be together again when you come back.”
My words move him.
I can see it in his face. Finally, he brings his mouth to mine and gives me a sweet kiss, a kiss full of emotion.
“Can I stay with you tonight?”
I nod. I want him to stay forever.
But his words, and especially his gaze, feel like a farewell, and inexplicably, my eyes moisten. Eric dries them without a word. Then he stands up and offers me his hand. I take it, and together we make our way to my room.
There, he undresses while I watch.
Eric is big, strong, and sensual. As soon as he’s nude, he takes my Tasmanian Devil pj’s out from under my pillow. He sits on the bed, and I join him. I let him undress me. He does it slowly and tenderly, without once taking his eyes off mine. When I’m finally naked, he stands up and embraces me.
We’re skin to skin. Heartbeat to heartbeat.
He leans his head down, hungry for my mouth. I offer it to him. I’m his without his even asking.
His lips hover over mine, and he does something that surprises me. He takes my head in his hands and kisses me. Once his long, sweet kiss has left me short winded, he steps back and sits down on the bed again. He never stops looking at me, and attracted as if by a magnet, I straddle him.
“Sweetness ...,” he says hoarsely. “Be careful with your arm.”
I nod, but I’m hypnotized as his fingertips trace my spine and draw circles on my skin. I close my eyes and enjoy our close contact and the tenderness of his hands. When I finally lift my lids, his mouth searches for mine, and he lovingly kisses me as he presses me against him. Calm and easy, we let a good ten minutes go by as we continue our caresses, until my impatience pushes me to lift up and introduce his hard and exacting penis inside me.
My flesh opens to receive him, and I gasp when he penetrates me. Eric closes his eyes tightly, and I feel his muscles clench so he can keep control. I move my hips slowly, back and forth, working toward our mutual bliss. I’m waiting for a little slap, a hard pinch, but nothing. Eric just looks at me and lets himself ride my movements like a gentle wave.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, anxious. “What’s going on?”
“I’m tired, love.”
His amorous voice when he calls me “love,” his words, and the softness of his fingers as they run all over my body reawaken me.
He’s trying to give me what I’ve asked for. He’s making love to me. No slaps. No hard thrusts. No demands. But in that moment, that’s not what I want.
Moved by the control I see him attempting, I give in to my own urgency; I decide to take advantage of what he’s doing to convince him to change his mind and take me how I want him to take me. I bring his mouth to my breasts. Eric accepts and gently licks and kisses them. But the heat is rising in me, even though he’s left the moment all up to me. I move in circles in a quest for my own gratification, and I find it. I gasp. I squeeze against him. I scream and gasp again. His body trembles while mine vibrates madly, waiting for the part of him that’s rough and wild to take control.
I want my demands to be his demands, but Eric refuses. He doesn’t want to play my game. Finally, when the heat floods me, I place my arms on his thighs for support, and then I’m the one who moves brusquely. When my orgasm comes, I scream and arch my body over him, and then, and only then, Eric grabs me by the waist. I feel the tension in his hands, how he presses me to him once and then silently lets himself go.
I keep my arms around him for a few minutes.
I don’t want this to end.
But finally, Eric gets off the bed and drags me with him. He plucks a tissue from my nightstand and cleans me. Then he wipes himself off. Without a word, he picks up the Tasmanian Devil pj’s. He helps me put on the shorts, then the top. He pulls on his briefs. He turns off the lights and makes me lie down with him. He turns me around and spoons me. He’s afraid of hurting my arm. We don’t say a word. We simply try to rest while we both listen to the sounds of farewell in our breathing.
23
I wake up startled.
I look at the clock: 4:38 a.m.
I’m alone in bed. Where’s Eric?