Page 144

My face softened. “You know you will never lose me, right? As close as you and Ebony get, I will still be your friend.”

“I don’t want to get closer to her. I want it over with. I don’t want her. I want you!” He cupped my face. “You told me once I had your heart, and I’m asking for you to give it back to me. Please, Allie. Give it back to me.”

Blake was always so strong, and now he was sitting here basically begging for something he already had.

“You’ve already got it, Blake.” I dropped my forehead against his. “You’ll never not have it. But…”

“There’s no but.” He snapped, “I have it, or I don’t.”

“Do you remember when we used to go to the lake?”

He nodded his head.

“I used to never jump because I was scared I would sink too deep in the water and not be able to get back up.”

“You always worried too much.”

“You told me sometimes we have to jump and risk it.”

“Yeah, and you jumped with me.”

I smiled and pulled my head back. “Exactly.”

“You’ve always been there, Allie.” His lips were so close to mine.

“You need to jump, Blake.”

He frowned.

“You can’t be scared of how far you will sink,” I added. “Just because you are scared about how much you will love her doesn’t mean you don’t jump.”

“I don’t need her.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Fine. I don’t want her.”

“Because you’re scared.” I knew my friend. I knew he hated new experiences. He wanted me because I was safe, and because he knew me. He knew how much he loved me. He knew what he would do for me. He didn’t know what he could do for Ebony, and I think he was slowly realizing he would do anything for her. “You’ve never been a coward.”

My hand went to his t-shirt, and I pushed it to the side, seeing the mark on his shoulder.

“I think that mark says a lot too,” I added.

“If I could take it off, I would.”

“Stop thinking about yourself for a minute and think of Ebony. She would be going through hell with you thinking like this.” I was suddenly defending a woman I loathed. “You did mark her too.”

“I can’t do commitment, you know that. You never expected that of me.” He let go of me running a hand through his hair. “I can’t do forever.”

“You should have thought of that before you had sex with her and marked her.”

“Don’t give me a lecture,” he snapped. “Run away with me?”

I laughed. “Running, really?”

“You hate it here. You’ve always wanted to leave.”

“Yeah, I know.” For some unknown reason, something was keeping me here. Something was pulling me to stay, even though I had planned on leaving before the accident. Even now I wasn’t sure if I would still leave. Leaving made sense. “And I still might, but not with you.”