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"I cannot find it," he said, his voice muffled. "Whatever attacked you... I cannot find any record of it. Nothing that matches exactly what you described."

I blinked, surprised. "That's what has you so upset? That we haven't identified it yet?"

He looked up at me then, and what I saw in his eyes made my breath catch. There was such naked fear there, such raw concern.

"If I cannot identify it, I cannot protect you from it," he stated simply. "And that is... unacceptable."

Oh. The realization struck me like a physical blow. This wasn't just about the research, or about his frustration with the lack of progress. This was about me. About his fear for me.

I moved without thinking, closing the small distance between us to stand between his knees. My hand cupped his cheek, feeling the slight rasp of stubble against my palm.

"Rowen." His name was a gentle caress of my voice. "We'll figure it out. Together."

He leaned into my touch, just slightly, his eyes closing for a brief moment. When they opened again, they held a torment that made my heart ache.

"I failed you once," he admitted, so softly I had to strain to hear him. "I will not do so again."

The words hung between us, loaded with meaning. I knew he wasn't just talking about the shadow beast anymore.

"You left me," I replied, unable to keep the hurt from my voice. "Without a word, without explanation. Do you have any idea what that did to me?"

His eyes held mine, unwavering now. "Yes," he growled. "I do. And I am sorry for the pain I caused you, Sierra. More than you can know."

The sincerity in his voice, the genuine regret in his expression, loosened something tight in my chest. It wasn't forgiveness, not yet, but it was a step toward it.

"Then why?" I asked, the question that had haunted me for so long finally given voice. "Why did you leave like that?"

His large hands came up to circle my wrists, not restraining but connecting, anchoring us both. "Because I had to," he said, his thumbs tracing small circles over my pulse points. "Because staying would have triggered your heat prematurely, and without all three of us present to satisfy the urge, it would have been disastrous."

I frowned, trying to process this. "What do you mean? Archer was there..."

"But Callum wasn't," Rowen explained. "And you needed all of us, Sierra. All three of your mates. A primal heat isn't like anormal heat cycle. It's... devastating in its intensity. Without all three of us to channel and direct that energy, to complete the mating bond, it would have driven you mad with need."

The bluntness of his words made me flush, but I appreciated his honesty. "Couldn't you have just told me that? Instead of disappearing?"

A pained expression crossed his face. "I didn't know how. And I feared that if I tried to explain, if I saw your tears or heard your pleas, I wouldn't have the strength to leave. And I had to leave." His grip on my wrists tightened fractionally. "My presence was accelerating the onset of your heat. Every day I spent near you, the drive to take you grew stronger. I could sense it awakening in you, responding to my proximity."

"So you just... what, decided to remove yourself from the equation?" I asked, struggling to understand.

He nodded. "It was the only way to slow the process, to give us time to find Callum. And it worked. Your heat remained dormant until all three of us were present."

"But the cost," I said softly.

His eyes never left mine. "Yes. The cost was high. Your pain. Your confusion. Your belief that I had used and discarded you." He drew a deep breath. "I knew what you would think. I knew you would hate me for it. But better that than the alternative."

"What alternative?" I asked, though part of me already knew the answer.

"If your heat had been triggered with only me and Archer present," Rowen said gravely, "every unmated alpha within a hundred miles would have been drawn to your scent. They would have fallen into rut, driven by an instinctual need to claim you. The violence that would have ensued..." He shook his head. "I couldn't let that happen to you. Even if it killed me to let you go. And it would have happened, Sierra. We couldn’t have completed the bond without Callum."

The stark honesty in his voice, the pain evident in every line of his face, struck me like a physical blow. He had left me to protect me, had shouldered my hatred and confusion because the alternative was putting me in danger.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" I whispered. "When you came back?"

His smile was sad. "There never seemed to be the right moment. And then your heat arrived in full force, and there was no time for explanations, only for action."

I stood there, between his knees, his hands still circling my wrists, and felt the final pieces of a puzzle I hadn't known I was solving fall into place. The mystery of his abandonment, the reason for his distance, it had never been about not wanting me. It had been about protecting me, even from himself.

"Rowen.” His name catching in my throat.