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“Yeah, how do you know?” Becs asked. “You don’t know me all that well.”
I bit my lip and looked past her to where Jack Dimarco still sat at the bar, now talking to Bull, and remembered his words about hanging on to anything when you felt like you were drowning and all alone. I had a feeling Becs and I weren’t all that different.
I shifted my attention back to Becs who was watching me curiously. “I think I may know you better than anyone.”
She blinked slowly and smiled but didn’t answer, only motioned to the stairs. “You going up to your room?”
I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “Yeah, I’m kind of partied out.”
“Want some company?”
“Definitely.” I answered.
We made our way into my room, and I closed the door quietly behind me. I turned to see Becs already sitting on the side of my bed. “Are you okay?”
I started to say yes, like I always have to that question, usually trying to avoid explaining my feelings, but I changed my mind and answered honestly. “I’m not sure.”
“You met with the guys.” When I nodded, she continued. “Did something happen?”
I picked up the bottom of my sweater and ran my fingertips over the soft hem. “I told them I remembered the attack, and I wanted to press charges.”
She jumped up and hugged me. “That’s so great, Maggie.” She pulled back a little, her face full of concern. “Do you remember…”
She trailed off, and I understood why. “No, I think I blacked out when he…” I swallowed hard. “When that happened.”
She dropped her arms and took a few steps back to sit on the bed again. “Maybe that’s good.”
“Lisa thinks I either blacked out, or my mind is protecting me.”
“Is meeting with Lisa making you remember?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I think maybe it is. We talk about a lot, including all of the abuse over the years.”
She reached out and tapped my arm. “You like her?”
I smiled. “Yeah, and I really like talking to her. She went through some stuff too that she shares with me.” I moved around and sat beside her on the bed. “I never thought somebody who went to college and is smart and has a great job could’ve grown up a little like me, going through some of the same stuff.”
Becs put her hand on my leg. “Maggie, there are a lot of people who did a lot of things to survive bad situations and came out on top.”
I looked down at my linked fingers. “I always felt like I was completely alone, that no one would understand why I did what I did or why I put up with Snake.” I wiped a little moisture from my eyes. “Sometimes I didn’t understand it either, but I never felt like I had any other choice.”
“And now?”
I glanced up at her. “Now I feel like all I have are choices. Sometimes that can be overwhelming.”
She leaned in close. “Then make one at a time.”
I smiled. “That’s what Lisa said.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow, who knew I was smart enough to be a therapist.” We laughed together, and she continued. “You talked to Jack for a while.”
I clasped my hands together. “He thanked me for giving information to Bear and Gunner to help Luke the first time I did.”
She smiled. “That doesn’t surprise me. Their family is close and as much as that information meant to my brother and Gunner, it meant even more to that family.” I only nodded, and she continued. “Did he say anything else?”
“He said he considers me family because of what I did and what that meant for Luke.”
“How does that make you feel?”