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“In case they get shot or something?” I guessed.
She tilted her head, but understanding lit her face. “The Sinners are not like the Black Widows, Maggie. Yes, they’ve had trouble here and there, but they try to avoid violence. That’s not the kind of club they want to have.”
“I thought all MCs were violent.” I admitted.
Becs shook her head. “Not anymore and some, like the Sinners, are just about being a team. A group of people who like the same things and want to live as free as they can in this world. They keep to themselves, keep their noses clean, and give back to the community. They’re good people, Maggie.”
She stopped talking just as the door opened and Kat walked through with a nurse behind her. “Okay, Maggie, let me look at that shoulder.”
She went through the process of checking my shoulder and agreed that I no longer needed to wear the sling, but I did need to take it easy. She instructed me to use it, but stay mindful that it’s still healing. She then proceeded to take out my staples and commented that my cut had healed nicely, but said I would have a small white scar. I only shrugged when she told me that because I didn’t care about having another scar.
She excused the nurse and asked Becs to give us a few moments and closed the door when they left, leaving us alone. She sat down on a stool with wheels and rolled it until it was positioned right in front of where I still sat. I wrung my hands together, nervous as to why she wanted to talk to me alone.
“How are you feeling, Maggie?”
“Okay.” I answered automatically.
“Okay.” She smiled sweetly. “I’ve had the automatic answer, now I’ll ask you again, and I want the real answer.” She laid her hand on my knee. “How are you feeling?”
My eyes met her warm brown eyes, and I relaxed my shoulders. “I feel lost.”
She smiled sadly. “I can understand that. Are you happy staying with the club?”
I shrugged. “It’s fine.”
She searched my face, for what I didn’t know so I waited. “Do you feel safe?”
I thought about that, but I realized I didn’t really have an answer, so I gave her the only response I could. “I don’t know what safe feels like.”
She closed her eyes briefly before opening them again. “Maggie, how do you feel your depression is?”
I flinched when there was a knock on the door. Kat pursed her lips, but stood and made her way to the door, pulling it open to Gunner. His eyes flicked between us. “Done?”
“No, Gunner, we’re not done,” Kat said sternly. “You’ll be the first to know when we are.”
He narrowed his eyes. “We need to get moving.”
“And you will as soon as we’re finished.”
He opened his mouth to answer, and I knew I needed to speak up. The truth was, I wanted to hear what she would say about how I was feeling. So, I took a deep breath and spoke up. “Gunner.” I spoke quietly. “Can I have a little more time?”
His eyes snapped to mine, surprise evident in his, and after a short moment, he nodded. “Yeah baby, take what you need. I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.”
“Thank you.” I whispered, his term of endearment causing a warm sensation to envelop me. He’d done it before, called me baby, the day I came home from the hospital, but I thought it was a slip, maybe a term he used often and he just said it out of habit. But now I wasn’t so sure. I watched and waited while Kat closed the door and made her way back over to the stool.
“He’s protective of you.” she commented.
I frowned. “He feels guilty for the attack, that’s all, but it wasn’t his fault, it was mine.”
“Why was it yours?”
“Because they told me to stay safe, I needed to stay inside and I didn’t.” I admitted.
She tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
I picked at a piece of lint on my black pants while I spoke. “I snuck out to watch someone get married. Someone I thought I had feelings for. I needed to.” I paused and exhaled slowly. “That’s where Snake grabbed me.”
“Who got married?”