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“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Autumn pushed at Soulara’s shoulders. She sighed heavily and sat up. Autumn stared across the water before closing her eyes and resting her chin on her knees heavily. “You’re a princess, Soulara. You are as bound by duty as I am.”

“You’re not.”

“I am,” Autumn countered. “I can’t just up and leave my post. I’m on a foreign planet. I can’t live here without them, and where would they put me?”

“You’re not bound to them like I am to Reine.” Anger boiled in Soulara’s stomach. Didn’t Autumn see the difference? It was so obvious. Soulara never would have betrayed her people the way Autumn had. But more than that, Reine was Soulara’s blood. “I am Reine. You’re just a soldier. I’d never expect any of my soldiers to be tethered to me or Reine in the same way I am.”

“Soulara.” Autumn’s voice had a tinge of whine to it. “I’m not worth it.”

“But you are.” Soulara reached for Autumn’s hand, but Autumn pulled away. The space between them, the chasm Autumn had called bittersweet, grew. Soulara hated it. She wanted to make it vanish in seconds, she wanted to press Autumn into the sand and show her just how worth it she was. But Autumn held that boundary between them.

“I think it’s time you take me home.”

Home.

Was that place really Autumn’s home? Perhaps it was more than the planet she called Earth. Soulara was about to object when Nylah breached the surface of the water. Soulara’s necklace burned against her skin, images of Honour swimming rapidly in her direction.

“Fuck,” Soulara muttered as realization hit her. They were about to be interrupted. “I’ll take you home, Autumn. But know this. We’re not done.”

Autumn turned her chin up, an objection on her lips.

But Soulara shook her head firmly. “I don’t want to hear about how you’re not worth it, about how you don’t deserve this. None of that.” Soulara stared Autumn directly in the eye, wishing that the wall would shatter in front of both of them. “That’s not the only lie you have ever been told, but it’s the one you’ve always wanted to believe.”

“Soulara—”

“Shut up.” Soulara clenched her jaw. “It’s a lie. This—what’s between us—isn’t. I don’t have answers for you. I don’t know what the future holds. But I’m not going to let my world dictate who I am.”

Nylah flashed another image, Honour’s speed increasing.

“We have to go. Now. I can’t explain it to you. But I’m not abandoning you.”

Autumn looked unconvinced.

“Please believe me,” Soulara begged.

“I’ll try.” But Autumn’s face didn’t soften. Her shoulders remained stiff. And Soulara had no doubt that the most important conversation of her life had failed.

21

Autumn’s hair was damp as she swung it into a tight bun at the back of her head. Soulara had barely even said goodbye when she’d swum off into the distance. The conversation wasn’t finished, that much Autumn knew. But she had no idea if they’d ever get a chance to finish it.

She stayed on the edge of the shore for longer than she should have, but after the events of that week, she needed the moment of respite. Her heart ached. For so many reasons. She wanted to believe Soulara. She wanted to believe her commanding officers. She wanted to believe her people weren’t as inhumane as they were proving to be. Despite her upbringing, Autumn had always held out hope that there was some kind of good out there.

Maybe it just wasn’t with humanity.

Maybe it was with the mermaids.

But that still left her in a precarious position because it wasn’t like she could live with the mermaids. Her lips quirked at that thought. She couldn’t even swim. And living alone on the shore was something she wasn’t prepared to do. As much as she despised it, she needed the companionship of another person. Autumn had no doubts that Soulara would tire of her soon enough or become so busy with her duties that Autumn would become a distant thought in her mind.

A chilling breeze brushed her skin and she closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of the sea. She needed to get back. Marshall was still with the medic, and she wanted to check on him before she retired for the night.

The walk back to camp was slow, and Autumn took her time. She slipped through the chain-link fence and around the sensors that would alert someone that she’d been off the base without permission and then joined the throngs of people milling around.

Walking straight to medical, Autumn stepped surely through the empty beds toward where she’d last left Marshall. She wrung her hands together as she stepped next to him, but it was so good to see his bright eyes looking back at her. She’d missed that, even if they weren’t true friends. Trent, however, was still out, stitches all along his skull, but they did say he was going to live.

“What’s eating at you, Walton?” Marshall asked, his lips quirking up in a smile that Autumn reveled in.

Autumn shook her head, completely at a loss for words. There was no way she could explain everything that had happened in the last month. It was the stuff of fantasies, wasn’t it? Sticking to a safer topic, Autumn shoved her hands in her pockets and rolled up on her toes. “When are they letting you out?”