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“Yes, sir.” She wanted to poke more at his answer, dive into the reason behind their people’s insistence on leaving planets entirely drained of all resources before moving on. But she had learned enough about the general to know when his tone indicated he had reached the limit of his patience. “But there are other ways to collect water for Earth and not destroy the planets we’re currently on.”

General Chalmers’s gaze narrowed. “We have our orders, Walton. Don’t you want your brother’s kids to live into adulthood?”

Kids? Did her brother even have kids? And how would Chalmers know that?

Autumn looked him directly in the eye. Because no, she hated her family. They’d been the scourge of the planet, and she hadn’t ever wanted to see them again. She didn’t have fantastic relationships back home that she was waiting to reconnect with when they got there. “I would like our planet to live on, yes.”

“Then that’s why we’re here. And we have our orders, Walton.” He nodded, his face returning to his neutral mask as he accepted her placation. “Collect your rations and meet by the launch site in two hours.”

He didn’t wait for her response. His soles squeaked on the floor as he turned sharply away from her barrack. His footsteps echoed down the hall, quieting as he got farther away.

Autumn let out a breath of relief.

“This would be so much easier if I’d never met her,” Autumn muttered as loneliness settled in her chest.

It would have been easier, but she truly wouldn’t exchange knowing Soulara for anything. Not for a better world, or a better job. Not even for a better family and a better childhood.

That realization stunned Autumn, and she stood paralyzed for a few more minutes before she finally headed toward the mess hall to retrieve her three-day pack of rations.

She waited in line for the rations for almost an hour. She found the time boring or at the very least tedious. She was used to being alone and silent. But even she had grown bored of the overheard conversations and the mocking laughter of her fellow soldiers.

“Walton!” Marshall said her name with kindness.

“Hey, Marshall.” Relief washed through her.

“You’re stuck with me again.” He winked and nudged her shoulder with his own.

Words caught in her throat. She swallowed before she tried again. “You’re not still mad?”

“What?” For a moment confusion flashed over his face. Then his eyes lit up as the memory of his annoyance must have flooded back. “Nah. We all get those moments of cabin fever. Just don’t go shouting that shit so loud next time.”

“Oh.” There was something she didn’t quite understand. She could see it in his eyes. Something he wanted her to register—what the hell was it? Would other people, those who could talk easily to strangers and make friends in minutes, know what the hell his wide eyes and raised brows were telling her? “Yeah. Of course.”

“Good.”

“Right.” She laughed because she had no idea what else she was supposed to do.

What she wanted to do was ask him if he ever had doubts about their missions, about what they were told, about the things they did without question or information. But she didn’t dare, not when she felt like an idiot already.

“Next.” The soldier behind the counter of the mess hall called, and Autumn had never been so relieved.

It took another ten minutes for the soldier to go through every item in the pack, one by one. He ticked it on his sheet and then placed it in the waterproof bag. Once she finally collected her rations and redistributed her pack to fit the bulky item, she headed down to the launch site to wait.

Autumn had hoped to give Soulara more information because the weight of this mission remained heavy and ominous around her. And why wouldn’t it? She had given Soulara all the information she had, but she still wanted to do more.

The last time they’d spoken had been fraught with a tension Autumn couldn’t name but deeply understood.

Soulara hadn’t asked her to stay behind.

Soulara hadn’t even suggested it.

Didn’t she care? But it didn’t matter in the end. Autumn was a soldier, and while her doubts and loyalties to her people wavered, her training lingered. She hadn’t felt guilty about giving the information to Soulara. But that didn’t make her capable of stopping herself from being a good soldier and following orders.

“Hey, Walton.” A deep voice—familiar and obnoxious—called out from the other end of the launcher bays.

Autumn closed her eyes and suppressed a groan. They had to be fucking with her, surely. Of all the people joining in on this dive, it had to be Jesse my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours Trent.

She had been enjoying the solitude in the launchers. The lulling sound of the water as it sloshed up against the thick bay doors eased some of the tension in her shoulders. It pushed away the gnawing guilt and frustration that whirled around her.