Page 70

"Want to hang out a bit on the porch?" I asked once we got out of the car. “It’s so nice outside. The calm after the storm.”
"Sure. Do you have any furniture?"
"I’ve got a rattan couch and pillows in the basement.”
“Let’s bring them up.”
I led him through the house and to the basement. He carried the couch on his own, as it wasn’t heavy at all. He looked hot lifting it up the stairs. I brought all the pillows, and once he set the couch on the porch, I arranged them on the rattan. We sat down next to each other and immediately started googling restoration companies.
"You know a few, right?" Chase said.
"Yes, I've already been in contact with some of them for repairs."
"Tell me which ones you want to contact," he said, scrolling through the results on the first page of Google.
After emailing ten companies, asking for a cost estimation based on the inspector’s observation, I took off my shoes, putting my feet up, and he took them in his lap.
"You're stressed," he said.
"How can you tell that?"
"Because your entire body is on edge." He put a hand on my calf. "These muscles are clenched."
"I'm trying to calculate how much this will cost, and I'm imagining the number will be much higher than what's in my savings account."
"I can loan you what you need for the repairs."
I instantly tensed up. "Thanks, but no."
"Why not?"
"Taking money from anyone...changes things. I don't want that to come between us."
He shifted closer. "What do you mean, come between us?"
I gritted my teeth. "I just wouldn't feel good taking money from you, okay? Not even as a loan."
When I didn't say anything for a few seconds, he took one of my hands, pulling me toward him. I knew exactly what he wanted, so I rose on my knees and then straddled him, facing him. He placed both hands on my outer thighs. I was happier than ever that the trees around the property were so high. You could see the upper levels of the inn from the street, but not the porch. No one could see us. It was a bit chilly, though.I should bring out blankets.
"I want you to know that option is always on the table."
"No, really, I'm not seeing that as an option. You could resent me later, or throw it in my face that—”Crap. Why am I running my mouth?“Never mind.”
"He hurt you," Chase murmured. "That fucking moron."
I felt small and ashamed, but for some reason, I didn’t want to hide from Chase. My ex made me feel insignificant in the end, like I didn’t matter, and it really did a number on my self-esteem. Blair thought I was nuts for taking to heart what that asshole said, but for some reason, I hadn’t been able to shake it off.
"He did, and I know I shouldn’t let it bother me...." I let my words trail off. I wasn’t sure this was a good idea, sharing my innermost secrets.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I hesitated. It was one thing for him to assume certain aspects but another altogether toknow.
But I didn’t want to keep anything from him. Not even the parts that were still raw and hurting. Telling him felt right.
"I told you that he’d been pushing me to sell the inn after Gran passed away. He didn’t like it at all that I wanted to keep it. And then when the insurance thing happened, he became vicious. Said it was a good thing we'd never combined our finances, that he was going to divorce me before I could ruin his savings too. He made me feel so insignificant, like what I wanted or needed didn’t matter. LikeIdidn’t matter. I never asked him for anything, you know." I stopped there because the rest could be shared another time. I was enjoying the day too much to dive into all this or I’d get emotional.
"You didn't ask me either. But I'm offering."