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“I know.” She looked down at the sand. “I shouldn’t have done it. And I still feel guilt over it. That was the thing that ruined our partnership for good.”

“I’m not complaining about that part because it meant that you needed a new partner, but it’s an example of you not thinking things through. With Kendra, you are thinking things through, so it’s different. I don’t think it’s because she lives next door, either. I think it’s because you don’t want to blow it because you actually want it to work out.”

“There’s nothing to work out right now,” Aspen argued. “We’re friends who flirt, at most.”

“Friends who flirt, with the possibility of more. She’s single, Aspen. So are you. There’s nothing really stopping you from putting yourself out there like you do with pretty much everything else.”

“There’s the fear,” she pointed out. “I’m not used to feeling fear like this.” She looked up at her best friend and colleague. “She’s beautiful, smart, and funny, and I really like her, DJ.”

“But you’re scared?”

Aspen nodded and said, “What if she says no if I ask her out?”

“Why do you think she would? From what I’ve seen, she’s totally into you, Aspen. And she invited you out last night. I don’t think she expected me to tag along. She was also your date to Mark’s thing, even if you didn’t want to call it a date. She’s always smiling at you, and she joined us at practice. You talk about her all the time, and from that, I can also tell that you two spend time around each other when I’m not there. So, what are you so afraid of?”

“She has some stuff that I think she’s working through right now, and it worries me, okay? I’m not going to give you any details because they’re hers, but we were talking last night, and I know it’s a big deal for her. She’s not big on sharing, I think.”

“But she shared with you?”

“Some, yeah.”

“And you don’t think that means something? That someone who never or rarely shares something with people talked to you about it?”

“I brought it up,” Aspen explained.

“Just because you bring something up, doesn’t mean someone else has to talk to you about it,” DJ replied. “How many times did I tell you to shut up about Chase before I told you that I liked him?”

“This is more serious than your obvious crush on Chase.” Aspen sighed.

“I was blinded by the blond,” DJ said almost wistfully.

Aspen laughed then, remembering how cute Kendra had looked when she’d made that joke; all flushed from the alcohol and maybe the heat, laughing with that little adorable snort.

“Yeah, you really like her.”

“Huh?”

“Aspen, I know where your mind just went. Talk to her.”

“I will. Just not now. We’re about to leave for Italy anyway. I’ll wait.”

“Why?”

“I need to focus on my game.”

“Our lives aren’t all about volleyball, Aspen. I mean, in ten years, we’ll be lucky if we are still playing. So, in ten years, do you really want to be alone, watching Kendra make out with another woman in that fake chaise lounge across the fence because you waited too long to ask her out?”

CHAPTER 20

Kendra couldn’t afford a trip to Italy. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Her network wasn’t covering the international event. Volleyball, both indoor and beach, while popular across the country, was only starting to be aired on prime time. Beach volleyball had been on TV every weekend of the season during the heyday of the previous pro league for about twenty years or so, but when that league collapsed, there was a gap before the new one popped up, so it was only starting to get popular again for networks to air. An international event, though, which most people weren’t even aware of, wasn’t going to be covered on any of the major sports networks. That meant that Kendra wouldn’t be paid to go to Italy to cover the event, and since she couldn’t afford to take a trip like that after just buying a house and starting to do work on it, she’d be watching Aspen’s matches on her laptop, since it would only be streaming, and at odd hours due to the time difference. She had one trip to Portland to cover an NWSL match that would be during the middle of the tournament for Aspen, but other than that, she’d be watching at home.

As she stared at her computer, with the website telling her with a black screen and a short message that the event would start shortly, Kendra thought about maybe making the trip to Berlin. The network still wouldn’t be covering it, but she could ask for some time off and at least go for a few days, get a hotel room with points, and use some of her frequent-flyer miles to get a free or cheap flight. She supposed she could’ve done that for Italy, but she’d already been booked for a local NWSL match for Angel City FC and the one in Portland, so she probably wouldn’t have gotten the time off. In addition, spending all those miles and points on a tournament that wouldn’t earn Aspen and DJ an automatic spot in the Olympics didn’t seem worth it. Not to mention, the hotel points and flight miles would only take care of so much; she’d still have to pay for everything else. So, if she was going to do that, she’d rather do it for Berlin, when Aspen and DJ could lock in an Olympic spot.

“You’re acting like she’s your girlfriend,” she said to herself as she took a sip of her merlot. “She’s not your girlfriend. You’d just be that weird person tagging along to support a relatively new friend. She might even think it’s weird for you to be there.”

Her screen changed to a volleyball court, and she set her wineglass down on her table quickly.

“Come on, Aspen.”