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When Kendra nodded, Aspen pulled out of the hug and stared into Kendra’s eyes.

“Okay. I need to go out there now because I want to kiss you and not leave this room at all, and that’s not a first date, so…”

Aspen took a few steps back, looked at Kendra once more, turned, and headed for the door. She let it close behind her and let out a deep sigh. They were okay. They would be okay.

CHAPTER 32

Kendra sat across from Aspen at the table and looked down at her own shirt as Aspen talked about the coach they’d basically interviewed that day. She’d left the two buttons undone, and her undershirt kept the scar from view, but something had happened in that hotel room only an hour or so earlier that Kendra couldn’t quite explain.

“Are you okay?” Aspen asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“You got really quiet on me. Did you not want to come here? We could’ve gone somewhere else.”

“No, I wanted to come here. It’s a nice restaurant, and we deserve a nice restaurant for our first date,” she answered.

“So, you’re just usually quiet on first dates?” Aspen asked.

“I don’t know. Well, I don’t think so, but maybe I am. I’m being quiet right now, though, because I’m listening to you, babe.” She took a sip of her sparkling water.

“Should I shut up, then? Let’s talk about your day. How was the match?”

“Aspen?”

“Yes?”

“When I was first diagnosed, my entire world came crashing down around me. I was a kid, but I felt like I was an adult. I was at that age where my parents were treating me like a combination of the two. Things were confusing. I had offers from a lot of schools, and I walked around my high school like I was hot shit. I knew what I wanted, and nothing else would come close to me having that. I was going to play volleyball in college and then professionally, and I knew that like I knew my own name. Then, one day, that was all gone, and I was still a teenager without a fully formed brain, so I didn’t listen when they told me not to risk it, and I almost died. I passed out and came to on my own, like I told you before, but I left out the part about getting to the hospital and them telling me that I’d had a small heart attack.”

“At eighteen?” Aspen asked, looking worried.

“I could give you the full diagnosis, if you want, but it’s a lot of really long scientific words and not the point of me telling you this. I was angry when I went to college and had to go to a school with a great volleyball team. I had to hear about their wins and losses on campus, even when I tried to ignore it. I was still angry when I graduated and pursued journalism. When I found out that I needed that surgery or my heart might go out, and soon, so I’d need a transplant, and they were unlikely to move me up on the list if I refused the operation that could repair the problem, I felt like, once again, I had no choice in my own life. And I was only twenty-five, you know? I was just really starting to get into my life. I had the operation, of course, but this scar on my chest is ten years old now, and I think I’m only just now starting not to be angry about it being there.”

“I’m glad it’s there,” Aspen said.

“You’re what?”

“I’m not glad that you had a heart condition, but I am glad that you had that operation because you’re still here, and you didn’t need a heart transplant at twenty-five. God, I’m so glad that it’s there because you’re okay. You’re okay now, right? You said–”

“Yes,” Kendra interjected and took Aspen’s hand over the table. “I’m okay. And I think you just by being you… It’s made the anger dissipate.”

“Really? You were pretty angry that day on the beach.”

“You came out of nowhere with your research about me, and I might have reacted poorly because I was angry, yes. But you reminded me earlier about getting into your car that night and unbuttoning my shirt, and I can’t think of a time when I’ve done that in front of someone before. I did it again tonight, and I didn’t even realize that. I’m sitting here right now, leaning over the table, and I know you can probably see a little of it, and I’m okay. The world isn’t ending. You’re still here on this date with me, and I’m not angry.”

“I’m glad you’re not angry that I’m still on this date with you,” Aspen joked.

“Yeah, the order of my words made that sound bad, didn’t it?” Kendra laughed.

“What does that all mean, though? What you said, what does it mean?”

“I think it means I might be finally letting things go that I’ve been holding on to for years.”

Aspen smiled at her and said, “I think that warrants a cheat meal tonight, then, to celebrate. Dessert?”

“Yes, please,” Kendra said with a wink.

“Wait… Was that a wink because you want a different kind of dessert, or because you want the cheesecake? I’m confused.”