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Theo’s hands tightened on her waist, pulling her lower body against his. She could still feel his erection, pressing against the front of his jeans.
“No. I don’t agree with that at all,” he said. “But that’s because I know something you don’t.”
Gretchen tilted her head. “What’s that?”
“You’re mine.”
She blinked a few times, now convinced that none of this was real. Maybe she’d passed out from a lack of air. Or maybe Theo wasn’t here at all, and she was actually in her bed at Edith’s having one hell of an awesome dream.
Gretchen reached out, pressing her hands against his chest. He was muscular, his body firm from hard physical labor on the farm, and she was overcome by the desire to see him with his shirt off. She had a feeling he was ripped. However, that touch let her know just how real this was.
“Yours?” she whispered, that assertion equal parts amazing and terrifying. She couldn’t be his, and not just for the reasons he’d already listed. She wasn’t ready to jump into a relationship with anyone right now. Briggs had broken her, and she was only starting to put herself back together.
If she was a stronger person, she’d explain that to Theo, but the words shriveled inside her.
“Mine,” Theo repeated, backing his declaration with a soft kiss.
Gretchen told herself it was time to put a stop to this, but her traitorous lips had their own opinion, welcoming his tongue back into her mouth.
He was only the second man she’d ever kissed, and he had set the bar so high, no other man could ever surpass it.
When Theo broke the kiss, she sighed heavily.
“I can’t be yours.” She hated how thin her voice sounded. Saying those words cost her something, because all the common sense in the world couldn’t convince her heart not to wish she could belong to him.
Theo lightly wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, prepared to pull her back into their kiss, but the touch…
Her breath seized and her heart raced as she flashed back to Briggs’s hands around her throat, choking her, withholding all air until she nearly passed out. Every time he did it, she was certain that would be the day she died, but he never let it go that far, always releasing her to slump to the ground, gasping and coughing.
On the darkest day of her life, she’d wished he would go all the way, let her find peace in death.
The day after that horrible event was the day Brenda saw the bruises and knew the truth. Her questions, and the way she’d held Gretchen as she sobbed, had pulled her from those dangerous, dark thoughts and sparked the tiniest hope that there might be a way out.
Gretchen shoved Theo’s arm away, stepping back, trying not to let him see her sudden panic. Given the way his smile faded, his eyes narrowing with concern, it was safe to say she’d failed.
“I can’t…” she started, struggling to finish her thought.
Can’t kiss you.
Can’t be yours.
Can’t be anyone’s.
The last thought hurt. A lot.
Pain mingled with the growing panic attack.
She hadn’t had one since the night she’d come clean to Edith about her past. Foolishly, she believed that talking to Edith had somehow chased them away for good. She should have known better.
She drew in a breath, but it was too short, too shallow, no air penetrating her lungs.
Fuck.
She took another step away from him, then another, fully prepared to race all the way down this mountain to keep him from seeing her fall apart, thunderstorm be damned.
Theo held his hands up in surrender. “Stop, Gretchen.”
Her feet listened, even though the rest of her screamed, Run!