Page 34
Story: Shameless Expectations
She meant to step off the landing and walk around Monti. She meant to leave the library and never see Monti again. Instead, she wrapped her fingers around Monti’s wrist, rough fingertips to smooth, hot skin. Athena’s heart jumped. Her shoulders loosened. She stared down at their physical connection.
Why had she done that?
She never willingly touched anyone.
Looking up into Monti’s gaze, she saw the exact same confusion she knew was swimming around in her brain. But it was swimming through a fog, and she couldn’t see it clearly. What had gotten her so upset?
Las Vegas.
“What are we doing tonight?” Monti asked gently.
Athena shook her head. She had way too many thoughts going on at once, and she couldn’t filter them out enough to even begin to answer Monti’s question.
“Do you want to sit?”
“No,” Athena answered firmly. “I want you to leave.”
Monti didn’t falter. Her face remained stoic. She held Athena’s intense stare for a few more seconds before her damp lips finally parted. “If you want me to leave, then why are you still holding me here?”
eleven
“Athena.”
Monti’s mind ran wild. Athena was touching her. Her fingers were wrapped so tightly around Monti’s wrist that Monti was pretty sure she couldn’t pry them off if she wanted to. But this wasn’t about that. It was about the fact that Athena had initiated trust.
No, touch.
Shaking her head, Monti corrected her thought. Athena had initiated touch. Their eyes locked, and that panic that Monti had sensed dissipated a little bit. Monti softened her tone, eased her own body so she’d be less threatening. This was progress. Although Athena probably would see it as anything but.
“Focus on my voice, okay? Use that to stay here in the room with me.”
Athena swallowed, the muscles in her neck straining. But she looked up, meeting Monti’s eyes. Hers were so blue, depths of oceans that contained so much. Everything was perfectly in place—her hair, her makeup, her jacket that covered almost every inch of her body.
“Can you do that?”
Athena paused, a little breath escaping her lips. “I’m here.”
“Good.” Monti smiled a bit. This was progress. “What are you thinking about?”
Athena’s face hardened, the lines pulling taut, her brow dropping. Athena slowly moved her head from side to side, telling Monti that this was pushing it too far. Monti changed her plan quickly. Athena took time to ease into these things—she had to remember that.
“Okay,” Monti sighed. “Let’s start with an apology. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here when I was supposed to be. I let you down. I failed you.”
That changed something in Athena. Monti wanted to know what it was, what had clicked in her brain to allow this slice of openness that they needed. Monti stayed completely still, not wanting to scare that part of Athena away.
“I didn’t realize how much you needed me.” The words died on her lips. She had worked so very hard to never be that integral to someone’s life. For Athena to have that tight a connection with her already was beyond what Monti had ever thought possible. It wasn’t unusual for clients to feel safe with her. That was her job, after all, but so quickly? Did Athena even realize what was happening?
“I don’t need you,” Athena answered, that hard sheen coming back across her features.
This push and pull of control between them was exactly where they needed to be. This was where true work happened and meaning was made. Monti spun through what to say next, which question to ask, where to lead the conversation. But Athena’s eyes were so bare.
“What do you need?”
Athena’s face crumbled. Her grip on Monti’s arm tightened sharply, her nails digging into Monti’s skin. But Monti ignored the pain. It was nothing compared to the actual progress that they were making. Monti allowed silence to fall between them, using it for discomfort and peace at the same time.
“I needed you here two hours ago.”
“I’m so sorry,” Monti whispered. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here for you.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34 (Reading here)
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117