Page 110

“You’re blocking the streetlight.” He doesn’t move, so I stand back, putting more space between us. I turn the page, skimming a section on the chemical anatomy of toushana. I turn another page, thinking of Knox and the others, wondering what happened to them. A part of me aches. I share a connection with them in a way. And yet, I abandoned them.

Jordan eyes me.

“Not a fan of my reading preferences?”

A vein at his jaw pulses. He checks his watch again, then he pulls out an inscribed vial. “Don’t lose this.”

I unscrew it. Inside are fine glowing granules. Sun Dust.

“How’d you get this?”

Jordan only raises a brow. He stole it. Jordan Wexton broke a rule. I won’t give him the satisfaction of my being impressed.

“What time is Yagrin supposed to be able to slip out?”

“Any moment.”

I return to my book and he groans. “This is going to be a long trip if you’re going to grumble every time I read a page.”

The streetlamps reflected in his eyes shimmer golden. He reaches in his pocket. “You’re welcome to do something other than fill your head with that propaganda nonsense.”

He pops a green candy into his mouth. His mouth puckers and his cheeks rise, defining their sleek craters, and it makes me dizzy. I glare at my book. Two can play this game. I turn to a section in the text that I’m sure will irritate him and clear my throat.

“ ‘The prevalence of toushana has been denied by the Order since its inception. The official response has been that it poses too great a risk to consider giving it any credibility. Though that only seems to underscore its importance.’ ”

Jordan walks away and I follow, projecting my voice.

“ ‘The Order fears that binding with toushana is an awakening of boundless power.’ ” I snap the book closed and rest against the building, utterly satisfied with myself.

“Are you finished being incorrigible?”

Cold yawns in my chest, and I urge it through my bones and into my hand. Black drips from my fingers and I coil it playfully in the air.

“You should reserve your energy for what’s ahead.”

“I can spare a bit to get under your skin.”

His head cocks. “This isn’t some game we’re playing at. This is the life and livelihood of members all over. You should take that seriously and prepare.”

“You prepare your way, I’ll prepare mine.”

He marches up to me, snatches my book, and presses his palm across my stomach.

“Is this where your toushana lives in you?” His hand moves across my body to my lower hip, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. “Or is it here?”

“What are you—”

“It’s one of those two places. Toushana attaches to the stronger organ in either place, burrowing a home for itself inside you. En domum it grows, until it’s strong enough to attach to each and every part of you.” His hand traces up my body, grazing my ribs. “First, it explores your neighboring organs.” His knuckles stroke the bone between my breasts, careful to avoid touching either one.

My neck breaks out in cold sweat.

“There, it can latch on to the ventricles of your heart, changing your body chemistry drop by drop until your blood bleeds black.” His fingers walk up my chest and pause at the hollow of my neck. “Before it finally moves on to exercise its power over your brain.”

I swallow a dry breath.

“Binding Mechanics, volume two, around chapter five or so.” He hands me back my book. “If you’re going to read that poison, read both sides.”

When air moves between us again, I’m not breathing. What he said can’t be the full truth. He’s just trying to sway me to his twisted way of thinking—to hate myself, like I used to.