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But could I do it? Could I become someone who operated in shadows, who never received recognition for her achievements? My entire life had been a struggle for acknowledgment. First, to prove I belonged in the Air Force, then to prove I was worthyof being one of the first humans accepted into the Drexian Academy, and finally to prove I deserved my place among the Assassins. Could I give that up?

I sensed Tivek's hesitation when I'd asked him to teach me. Perhaps I'd crossed a line. Was he breaking some sacred oath by sharing his techniques with me?

"You don't have to tell me anything," I blurted out, breaking our careful silence. "About being a Shadow, I mean. I shouldn't have asked. I didn't think about whether you'd be violating some kind of oath or—" The words tumbled out in a bumbling rush.

Tivek stopped walking and turned to face me, his expression serious in the haze of the mist. I braced myself for his relief or for his polite refusal.

Instead, he held my gaze with an intensity that made something stir deep in my core. "I make it a policy never to say anything I don't mean," he said quietly. "I meant it when I said I think you would make an excellent Shadow. Just as I meant it when I said I would teach you what you need to survive this mission."

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. "But would you be violating any oaths?"

His lips curved in a slight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I won't let an oath prevent me from keeping you safe." The sincerity of his words sent warmth flooding through me, but he continued in a more measured tone. "Besides, it helps all of us if you're as prepared as possible."

With that, he turned and resumed our trek through the swamp, leaving me to wonder if I'd imagined the heat in his gaze. Was the attraction only on my side? As kind as he'd been, asprotective as he'd proven, I couldn't be sure that any of it meant what I wanted it to mean.

I'd never admitted to Jess or Britta how fascinated I'd been by the admiral's mysterious adjunct, how I'd relished moments when his gaze found me, how I'd made a point to talk to him when he’d invited us to the admiral’s private lounge. They probably suspected. Jess had certainly raised her eyebrows enough times when Tivek entered a room, and my voice trailed off mid-sentence.

But I wasn’t sure if Tivek himself had ever suspected my interest. Men didn’t seem to be as quick to pick up on things like that. And I didn’t want him to know now, either. Not when we needed to work together to save our friends. Besides, there was nothing more mortifying than the thought of confessing my feelings only to have the handsome spy explain that he only saw me as a promising recruit.

I squared my shoulders. I could do this. I could keep things professional. I could learn from him without revealing how much I admired him, how much I?—

A sound above made us both freeze in place.

"It's the ship," Tivek hissed. "It's coming back."

Chapter

Ten

Tivek

My instinct screamed to run, but experience told me movement would only draw attention. Morgan tensed behind me. I could feel it without seeing her. I could hear her breathing quicken with fear.

"Pull up your hood," I whispered, turning to face her. "Now."

We both yanked our hoods into position, the environmental suits' cloaking technology rendering our heads nearly invisible, leaving only our faces exposed through the small viewing panel.

"Keep your head down," I commanded. "Don't look up, no matter what happens."

She nodded, but I recognized the telltale signs of panic in her eyes and the way her gaze kept darting upward despite my instructions. When the ship passed directly overhead, her curiosity or fear might overcome her training.

I did the only thing I could think of as we crouched in the marsh. I took her face between my hands and pressed my forehead against hers, forcing her to lock eyes with me. The ship's engines rose from a distant hum to a deafening roar as it descended, hovering so close that the heat from its exhaust penetrated our suits, sending beads of sweat trickling down my spine.

Morgan trembled against me, her eyes wide with terror, but I held her gaze steadily, willing her to focus only on me, not on the danger that lurked above us. But as I stared into the shrewd blue eyes that had fascinated me from the first moment I'd noticed her in the academy Stacks, something unexpected happened. The world around me seemed to recede, the roaring engines fading to a distant murmur. Time slowed, stretched, and became almost meaningless.

I allowed myself, just for a stolen moment, to imagine a different reality. One where I wasn't a Shadow and didn't live a life of required deception. A world where I could tell Morgan everything about myself, where I could trust her with every secret I carried. A world where I could pull her close not out of necessity but desire.

She leaned into me, perhaps seeking stability as the ship's engines rattled the ground beneath us, and I instinctively wrapped my arm around her waist to steady her. The simple contact, even through our suits, sent an electric jolt through my body.

Then her eyes fluttered closed, and her body went slack in my arms.

Reality crashed back into focus with brutal force. The Kronock ship still hovered above us, its engines turning the swamp waterinto churning froth, but my attention was entirely on Morgan, who had lost consciousness in my arms.

I couldn't move, couldn't call her name, couldn't do anything that might alert the ship to our presence. All I could do was hold her, one arm supporting her back, the other wrapped around her waist, as I silently begged her to be all right.

After what felt like an eternity, the roar of the ship's engines lessened. The ebony marsh grass around us began to still, the water's surface calming as the patrol moved on. Only when the sound had diminished to a distant rumble did I allow myself to lower Morgan gently to the ground.

"You're fine, you're fine, you're fine," I whispered, a desperate mantra as I pulled back her hood and gently patted her cheeks. My hands shook as I checked her pulse, relief washing through me at the steady rhythm beneath my fingertips and the rise and fall of her chest.