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“Are you doing this because you don’t want to be like…”

I stiffened.

“…him,” she finished.

There was no other way to describe what was rampaging inside me. All sorts of fucked up for sure. I was exhausted yet charged and liberated because I finally confessed the darkest secrets of my family.

“I’m only going to talk about this once. But in putting you first and not hurting you, I can unequivocally say I’m not him.” I breathed through my nose and pushed through before I changed my mind about telling her about the vile acts of the man who raised me. “He’s a monster who repeatedly raped my mother to give him a child. The only thing I’m thankful for is my existence ended her tortured one.”

“Sandro…” Tears spilled from her eyes and she reached for me and cupped my jaw. “I’m sorry about your mother. What?—”

“She tried to escape with me. One of the soldiers felt sorry for her and helped her, but they were caught. Carmelo had them both executed.”

She sobbed silently. I hugged her close. “Finally telling you is a relief. Don’t feel sorry for me. I went after the men who killed my mother. They died painful deaths. Pity I couldn’t do the same to Carmelo.”

“Your poor mother.” I made out her garbled words against my chest. The wetness of her tears soaked through my T-shirt. I hadn’t thought about my mother in a long while. I’d never known about her real fate until I was twenty-four. That waswhen I included rapists on my hit list. That was why what happened to Bianca when she lost her virginity added to that purpose. That was why I murdered Warren Winslow.

“When did you find out the truth?” she asked more clearly.

“After Russia. At Carmelo’s funeral. Raffa had known all along.”

“Did you find out more about your mother? Her family?”

“They got scared and somehow they went into hiding, left Turkey and moved to an oblast in Russia. I went looking for them there and I fucking guarantee you Carmelo had me thrown in prison because I was snooping. Raffa admitted as much because he negotiated my release. He told me the truth about my mother and said I would only cause other people to get killed if I didn’t leave it alone.”

I lost one year of my life in Russia.

Her sobs subsided into occasional hiccups. “I shouldn’t be able to wrap my mind around it, but I can. After Raffa’s insane actions yesterday, nothing surprises me anymore.” She pulled away slightly so she could look me in the eye. “You are not them, Sandro.” Her conviction was fierce.

She had no idea how her belief in me was everything.

“I will never hold the circumstances of your birth against you,” she added softly.

“I know you won’t.” I pulled her close again and kissed the top of her head. “That’s all that matters to me. But understand, I’m never letting you go.”

“I still want to see my family.”

Dom’s words came back to haunt me.Tommy for Bianca.

One problem at a time. “Let me get tomorrow sorted out first, then we’ll talk.”

Chapter

Twenty-Three

Bianca

Sandro left with Gian around six this morning. I packed them frittata to go. I’d been reeling from the revelations of the past few days, especially the bombshell Sandro had dropped last night. It made me reevaluate all our interactions. His reluctance to be with me. He felt unworthy because the blood of a rapist ran in his veins. The story that circulated was that Sandro’s mom was Carmelo’s mistress, who became pregnant.

The tenderness between my thighs reminded me of the ferocity with which Sandro devoured me. And, oh God, his monstrous cock. He was long and girthy… Was I frightened? Maybe. Was I turned on? Hell yes.

I’d moved on from being the sheltered daughter of Ava and Cesar De Lucci into being the wife of Alessandro Rossi, mafia don and former assassin. Extreme circumstances forced us into our roles, but after struggling with how to survive this, our paths became clear.

Sandro needed to step up permanently as the boss. I needed to step up as his wife.

If Gian was telling the truth, then someone was capitalizing on Raffa’s revenge against Dad, hoping for an all-out war between the De Luccis and the Rossis. That it involved both sides of my family made me even more determined to find out who was behind these malicious hits.

The lack of news about Jabbin’ Java was making me antsy. I was consoling myself that no one was hurt and I could be patient a while longer. But Divina was driving me crazy.