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The embarrassment that hadn’t mattered before hit me now. The man up front probably knew what we’d done. I tugged my dress back up my shoulders but had to hold it in place because he’d torn through the buttons in the back.

Easing off Erik’s lap, I moved to my seat and rearranged my skirt. Erik used my panties to clean up the rest of his cum and tucked himself back in his pants. He gave me his jacket to cover my ruined dress.

Before he opened the door, he turned to face me, his large hands framing my face. “Now you know how it feels,” he whispered across my lips before giving me the softest, most gentle kiss.

He pulled back and opened the door, holding his hand out to help me exit.

I stared for just a moment, unsure of what happened next. I tried to stay in the moment—tried to be realistic about what happened when we went upstairs, but my mind was a mess of pleasure and nerves and hopes. We’d never ended a moment we gave in on such good terms. It usually ended in an argument. Not with him kissing me gently and offering his hand to help me stand.

Giving in to whatever happened, I slid my palm against his and stepped out. He gave a soft smile and closed the door behind us.

“Erik?” We both froze at the female voice behind us. “Erik, please talk to me. I miss you and I just wanted to talk.”

The words were slurred and when Erik stepped back, the red-headed woman stumbled to reach him. He let go of my hand and caught her before she fell on the pavement.

“Chloe, what are you doing here?” His voice was cold, but she missed the obvious, continuing to cling to him.

“I miss you. I miss fucking you.”

Again, I looked away at her intimate confession.

“You’re drunk.”

“Not really. You can take me upstairs and do whatever you want.”

“I’m going to take you home.”

She perked up and gave him a lazy smile, her eyes half shut in what she probably was hoping was seduction, but really just looked like she was about to pass out.

Me, on the other hand? My heart shriveled in on itself. “I’ll just head up,” I muttered, trying to move past without looking at him.

“Alexandra,” he called, halting my progress. “I’ll be back.”

I nodded without turning to meet his eyes and kept going, but then his hand was on my bicep, forcing me to face him. I willed the tears to subside as I raised my eyes, hoping they were as cold as I felt inside.

“I’m not going to fuck her. I just want to make sure she gets home safe.”

His eyes pleaded with me. I’d never seen Erik look so earnest before, making the decision to believe him easy.

I stroked his cheek and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.”

I nodded, my chest managing to relax enough to breathe again.

20

Alexandra

I tried to stay awake, but when two in the morning rolled past, I gave up and let myself fall asleep.

He wasn’t there in the morning when I woke up either. I’d quickly brushed my teeth and finger combed my hair to casually stroll down the stairs to find an empty apartment. Maybe he’d never come home. Maybe Chloe had convinced him to stay with another stupid blow job.

I plopped down on the bar stool at the island and let my head fall into my hands, groaning my frustration.

“I’m so stupid.”

No matter how much I shut down thinking and hoping, nothing was stopping my body. My body had a mind of its own when my heart flipped in my chest at the thought of seeing him in the morning. My body was a traitor as my face stretched into a smile, remembering what he’d given me last night. My mind was screaming at my body to get itself together and stop being a desperate idiot, but the way my stomach fluttered at his name, it was a losing battle.

Sitting in the kitchen, my body just hurt and my mind was sitting there muttering, “I told you so.”

Lifting my head, my spirits perked up when I saw a glass beside the sink that hadn’t been there last night. He’d come home. Hope was short lived because it was eight in the morning and he was already gone. On a Sunday. I had to wonder why he didn’t want to be here.

Maybe he regretted it but had the decency to not be a dick about it like he usually was after we’d been intimate. Maybe I should at least thank him for that reprieve.

Taking a deep breath, I did the best I could to shake it off to keep myself busy through the day. I sat at the dining room table and pulled out the laptop Erik let me use and began applying for scholarships. It took longer than I thought because a lot required me to write a paper about why I thought I deserved the money. I could have summarized it in one sentence. “Because I’m poor as fuck but work as hard as anyone else.” I decided to use more eloquent wording than “poor as fuck” when I had to.