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“I know you miss them. I know you need to forgive your dad.”

“Jules, I can’t. I just can’t.”

I move around the island to stand behind him, wrap my arms around his waist, and press a kiss to his muscular back. “Youwon’tforgive him.”

“He doesn’t deserve it.” He tenses in my hold but lays his hands over mine to hold me to him.

As if I’d ever willingly let go. “Butyoudo, babe. And hiding in London isn’t going to help you mend things.”

He lets go and turns around to face me, his expression clouded by hurt and annoyance. “I’m not hiding.”

“Okay, procrastinating then.” He exhales harshly through his nose and turns back to his cutting board.

“I know you’re angry with your father, but I promise that you will regret it forever if you don’t find a way to mend that fence.”

The knife lands on the counter with a loud clatter, and he turns to face me again. His hands are propped on the counter behind him, his eyes clouded by the unrest in his soul.

“I know. Iknow,Jules. He spent his whole life teaching me that when people showed you who they are, you should believe them. Well, he showed me that he’s a liar.”

I wince at the intractable anger in his voice. “Yes,afterhe raised you and loved you and supported you and sacrificed for you.”

“But he acts like it’s nothing. And he’s waiting formeto apologize.”

“And so you’re going to do the same? Like for like? Is that who you are, my love?” I gentle my voice, taking all accusation out of it. I’m not moving a mountain, I’m stroking a bruised heart.

“I know it’s hard, but everything worth having is hard.” I step into his large body and offer mine as safe harbor. I wrap my arms around him, hooking my hands on his shoulders, and he sags against me.

God, I love him. Strong and vulnerable at the same time, he’s got the kindest heart of almost anyone I’ve ever met. “Just think about it. That’s all.”

The muscles in his back bunch and flex. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you don’twantme to stay.”

“Don’t be silly.” I poke his back. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Well, right now, being with you makes me happy.”

My heart falls a little. I know he loves me and wants to be with me. I also think he’s making that decision from a place of hurt and anger.

And he’s right. Idon’twant him to stay. Since that video he posted last week went viral, waves have been forming on my horizon. Not minuscule ones that lap gently at the shores of my existence, taking small pieces of it every time. But oneslarge enough to wipe it all away. I’ve ignored the calls from an unknown number all week. But I’m not foolish enough to think that will stop him.

We’ve been on an inevitable course with the iceberg hiding below the tip of the truth he’s unwittingly spoken. The anchor I dropped to hold us in place is showing its first sign of fatigue. Or at least the first I’ve allowed myself to acknowledge. I’m leaving on my first business trip tomorrow, and I’ll be gone for three days. I hope the distance will give him some perspective and make it easier for him to imagine spending time apart while he goes to see his family.

“It’s late.” He dumps the entire cutting board into the sink. “I thought you were cooking dinner.”

He frowns. “Nah. I’ll go get a takeaway. You’ll be gone for days, and I’d rather not spend the night cooking and cleaning up.” He drops a quick, absent kiss on the corner of my mouth. “I’ll be back.” He unties his apron and strides out of the room.

CHAPTER 18

FEAST OR FAMINE

Omar

I stoodin line and only realized I’d forgotten my wallet at home when it was my turn to place an order. “You take Apple Pay here?”

“Look around, mate, what do you think?” The man sweating over his kebab stand scowls at me. I’d been in such a rush to get out of that conversation about my dad. She’s right. I want him to stay. But I don’t know how to ask.

“Sorry.” I walk back up the high street and decide to just pick up food at the Effra. I have a running tab there. I place my food order and then step outside to call Layel.

“If feast or famine were a person, it would be you.” My sister’s exasperated relief is melodramatic, but I figure she’s entitled to it. “Finally. My hail Marys have been answered.”