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Wasn’t that the problem? “I don’t know what I mean to say. I didn’t want any of this to happen. I wanted to be with her. That was all.”

“But her job is a big part of who she is,” Alex pointed out. “This isn’t an office job she chose because there wasn’t anything else out there. She trained for this. She puts her heart and soul into this job, and she’s had it all ripped away from her before.”

“I wasn’t trying to take her job away.” But he could see how it might look that way from her perspective. “I was trying to keep her safe.”

Alex put the drink down. “She’s not safe. That’s part of who she is, and you’re rejecting that part of her. How would you respond to a girlfriend who attempted to talk your father out of sending you out to check on rigs?”

“That would be ridiculous.” Half his job was making sure the rigs were properly working.

“Why? It’s dangerous. It’s precisely why you have security on every one of those rigs, and even then, bad shit still happens.”

“Yeah, well I’ve never been shot.” He winced. “But I have been in dangerous positions. Damn it. I didn’t mean to make her feel like she’s less. She’s starting to be everything to me.”

“Do you want my advice? From a man who lost his wife because he didn’t understand or appreciate how strong she was? I ask because I really will back off if you don’t want my opinion.Unlike Ian, who would just plow through.” Alex got a whimsical smile on his face. “I often think he does that because he never really fucked up before. He can be that arrogant because he was mostly right.”

“That’s the not the way I heard it.” JT had been told a lot of stories about Big Tag. “I heard he was a complete ass when his wife made it back to him.”

That comment elicited a full belly laugh from Alex. “Yeah, he was, but that lasted a whole three days. She put him through hell for five years. When you really look at it, he blustered briefly, and there was never a question in my mind what the outcome would be because he loved her. Because I watched for years as he mourned her. I sometimes wonder if he gave in so quickly because he’d seen how badly I screwed up.”

“You and Eve were divorced, right?” He’d heard a bit about it from his brother, but he knew far more about the younger guys Michael worked with on a regular basis. Not that they had a bunch of romantic entanglements. Well, Boomer had that sandwich he was in love with…

“For years.” Alex’s face lost the whimsical expression. “She was assaulted while I was working a case and I treated her like she was made of glass. I was so afraid she could get hurt again, that I would hurt her again.”

“It’s not the same.”

“You keep saying that, but it is,” Alex insisted. “I wanted to wrap her up and never let anyone touch her again. It hurt her. It killed my marriage the first time around. I often think the world would have been very different if Charlotte hadn’t died. Faked her death. I wonder if I would have made the same choices with Ian and Charlotte as my guide. I’ve heard some stories about them before they got married. They got into some crazy stuff. One time apparently they were after the same guy, like assigned to assassinate the same dude.”

“He was a mobster,” a deep voice said. “She was assigned to kill him because he was going to turn on her syndicate. I was supposed to do it because he had killed an Agency operative and stolen valuable intel.”

Alex looked up as Tag walked in. Unlike Alex, he’d shucked his clothes and wore one of the hotel’s super-plush robes over what JT thought was likely his boxers. “I thought you would sleep.”

“I did for a while,” Tag said with a yawn. “Then I had a shitty dream and when I woke up I remembered there’s Scotch. It’s funny because I always think I’ll sleep better alone, and then I never do. I get cold without her. Now you were telling the story of me and Charlie and Russian No Balls. I call him that because Charlie shot his balls off before she put two in his chest. That woman is so sexy when she’s working.”

“You let her take your job?” It seemed inconceivable since what he knew of Tag was that he was a control freak.

Tag grabbed a glass. “I sat my pretty ass on the bed and watched her do it. I ate some very delicious chocolates because we happened to be in Belgium, and I made sure she was totally loose. Being loose is important when you’re sniping someone, and it’s a totally different experience than when I did it in the Army. In the Army they shove you in camo, give you a couple of MREs you can’t heat up, and tell you to lie in position for hours, sometimes days, at a time. That was not the way Charlie played it. No. She got a suite in the nicest hotel in Antwerp.” Tag snorted. “Antwerp…”

Alex groaned. “God, it’s like you’re still twelve. How about we skip how you kept Charlotte loose and get on to why you let her take out the bad guy?”

“She won rock paper scissors dick,” Tag replied. “Seriously, when you’re playing that don’t pick dick. Everything hurts dick. Despite what our culture says with all its man-up talk, dicksare seriously delicate. I should never have let her add that in. I thought dick could pee on paper, but she offered to paper cut my dick and I then handed that rifle over.”

“Ian,” Alex prompted.

Tag’s lips curled up. “Fine. I let her do it because she’s a better shot than me. I would let her do it today because she’s still a better shot at that range. My wife is one of the best operatives I’ve ever worked with, and there’s no one in the world I want watching my back more.”

“Who would you take in if you couldn’t take your wife?” Alex asked.

“I would take you, asshole,” Tag shot back. “You’re my best friend, and for some reason you still want me alive. Now if you and Charlie were out, I know exactly who I’m taking in and that’s Erin. I’m stealing her from Li because she’s smart and mean and doesn’t pull her punches. I can’t help the fact that some of my best employees are chicks. I didn’t hire them for their coffee-making skills. I hired them because they’re good at their jobs and they’re committed to doing what’s right. I’ve sent women into dangerous positions because they were my absolute best bet at getting a job done, and one day it will very likely be my daughters I send in. When they’re ready I won’t hesitate because I won’t ever treat them differently than I would my son. I won’t teach them they’re less. If they decide they want to teach school or cut hair, then good for them. They’ll give it their all, and I’ll do my best to make sure they’re safe. But my girls are probably going to follow in their momma’s footsteps, and that means they’ll throw themselves into the dangerous stuff because it’s their calling. I take it this conversation is about how JT fucked up?”

“Yeah, he still doesn’t understand,” Alex replied.

He hated feeling like everyone thought he was an idiot. “Look, I took all those training classes at Sanctum. I thought wewere supposed to protect our subs. I know she’s not wearing my collar, but I want to work toward that.”

Ian snorted. “I don’t think Nina’s going to be that kind of sub.” He sighed and sat back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make fun of you. It’s habit. You seem to have missed the part of class where we talk about there being no one way to have a D/s relationship. I think you’ll find Nina’s on the ‘keep it to the club’ level of submission. Have you not talked about this at all? About how you would behave out in the field?”

He felt himself flush. “I told her I would defer to her since she’s the pro.”

“And then the first chance you get you tell her you’re in charge,” Alex pointed out.