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“Don’t worry. We’re just grabbing some wings I want my Daddy to put on the grill for me. We leaving again,” Everly teased as we spilled into the living room.
A slight smile curved my lips, my brain distracted by thoughts of the woman sleeping above us. I moved toward the stairs.
“Targen, is everything okay?” Everly asked suddenly.
I shrugged. “It’s gon’ be.”
I found Theory just as I had left her, in the dark quiet of her room. She was curled into a ball beneath the light bedspread that adorned her bed. I didn’t want to wake her, but I didn’t know how long my patience would last. I didn’t do well with unresolved questions. In my job, I found answers and chose solutions. And the solution I had for whoever had hurt her would involve blood and pain, two of my favorite things.
Sighing, I reached out to trace the sweet curve of her jaw, visible in the low glow of her nightlight. Her eyes flew open, and she sucked in a deep breath as she looked up at me. Caught in the fog of her sleep, it wasn’t me she saw, though. I knew because her eyes held terror. I knew because mymilayareleased a scream that broke my heart. I frowned.
“Theory, baby?—”
I reached for her, and she screamed again before moving in the opposite direction. Scared and disoriented, she fell off the side of the bed. Fast as fuck, I moved to the side where she was, needing to get to her, to calm her. She whimpered, and I realized how I must look looming over her. Lowering to my knees, I held out my hand again. I watched my baby drag herself away from me as she cried and begged me not to hurt her anymore, killing me inside.
“Theory, it’s me?—”
“Targen, let me get her,” Everly said softly.
I wasn’t even aware that they had come in. My focus was Theory and whatever agonizing memory her mind had immersed her in. I shook my head, blocking Everly as she tried to go around me. Theory needed to see me. She needed to come to me. She needed to realize that I wasn’t the monster haunting her half-awake dream.
“Come on, beautiful. Come to me,” I whispered.
As hard as it was, I didn’t move closer. I waited for my baby to recognize me and that I’d never hurt her. She was breathing so hard, her chest heaving as sobs consumed her breaths. But she was finally looking at me. Two things happened at once, then.
In a soft, bruised voice, she whispered, “Targen?”
And someone behind me flipped on a light.
Theory’s nightshirt had worked its way up during her jerky, distressed movements. I hadn’t seen much of her body unclothed. Suddenly, I was painfully aware of why she was always tugging on the hems of her clothes or redirecting my wandering hands. Above and below the lines of her panties, horrific scars marred her honey-brown skin. Someone had brutally assaulted her abdomen and upper thigh, viciously dug into her body.It’s not your scars, she had whispered to me when I wondered why she was scared of me. My scars didn’t frighten her because she had some of her own.
I didn’t have much time to take in the damage. Mymilayawas suddenly crawling toward me and launching herself into my arms as she wept. I tried to calm her, to stop her cries. I was glad she finally saw me, that she turned to me for comfort. But I fought to keep my temper from erupting. Even tightly-leashed, my rage was lethal. I wanted to kill. Ineededto kill. She shouldn’t have been hurt.She should never be hurt. It was the last lesson someone was going to learn.
Behind me, Real spoke. “I’ma send Juvie and Markel on a pickup. They saw that little nigga you told me about who was with their cousin our first day?”
“Yeah. Get him,” I hissed.
My hand tangled in her hair, gently tugging her face away from my chest. I kissed her forehead and her damp eyes.
“Theory,milaya, I’m gon’ take care of you, now and always. Always, baby. But you have to tell me… who hurt you?”
(Content warning:Involved discussion of domestic violence and sexual assault. Please be careful of your triggers.)
I heard his question, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to answer. Yeah, he was calm, but it was the kind of calm that wastoocalm. I knew he wasn’t going to listen and just let shit ride. Instead of dealing with all that, I wrapped myself around him as he sat with his back against my bed. He was holding me tightly, but…
“Targen?” I whispered.
“Hmm?” His voice was gravelly as he pressed a kiss against my ear.
“Squeeze harder.”
He complied, his strong arms banding around me so fiercely that I could feel the comfort of his warmth, the steadiness of his heartbeat, and the fine trembles of his fury.
“Every time you hold me, I never want you to let me go,” I murmured.
“I’m never letting you go,malyshka.”
I let his vow soak in, finally accepting the rightness of it.