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"You all ahead of yourself, huh? You ain't staying that long and I ain't cooking for you no mo'," I teased.
He surprised me by giving me a serious look.
"I'm staying long enough. And I'm gon' cook for you," he said.
That shut my ass up.
As soon as we got back, Granny Nette had all of her grandchildren in that big kitchen, strung out. Shep, Everett, and my cousin KJ were no exceptions—Granny didn't play that. She'd taught her sons and grandsons to cook as well as her daughters and granddaughters. We cooked so much stuff that I didn't care if I ever saw food again. By the time we gathered around the huge table and PawPaw blessed the food, I was over it. Only the smug look on my Granny's face kept me interested. Well, that and slapping Real's hand away under the table. But my dear ol' grandma was up to something.
"Y'all know that I of course wanna celebrate my baby Everett being home. Even though he met with unexpected circumstances—" my shady OG cut her eyes at Real, "I know we're all glad he's here. Granny made your favorite Down Home sausage and hash brown breakfast casserole and a coffee cake just for you," she told Everett.
"Thank you, Granny."
He tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace with his split lip and swollen eye.
"I just wanna know how you had a gun on a sleeping man and got yo' ass whooped? That Marine training ain't nothing like it used to be," PawPaw fussed.
"He fight like his sister, huh, Em?" Hyacinth teased.
"Lee Earnest, Hy, y'all hush!" Granny waved them off. "Anyway, we have another reason to celebrate. I don't know why my grandbaby thought she could hide it from me, but..."
"Hy, you didn't tell them you were pregnant?" Emory whispered loudly.
"I know the hell not!" Aunt Cynt responded as Hy glared at Em.
Granny sucked her teeth. "Hyacinth ain't pregnant, now hush! I want everybody to congratulate Epiphany and Jag on their engagement!"
Pip turned away from the table just in time to stop the orange juice that shot from her nose and mouth from soaking her food as she choked. Jag rubbed her back.
"Granny—” she said finally.
"Don't try to apologize now. You know I got eyes and ears everywhere. I don't know why y'all tried to hide it from me anyway," Granny Nette sassed.
"We didn't?—”
"I have to apologize. We thought the family reunion next weekend might be a better time," Jagger said in that quiet, deep voice.
Pip's head swiveled and she stared at him.
"We did?" she hissed.
I hid my smile. That's what this heffa got for ke-keing at all of Real's antics yesterday.
"It's okay, Teddy. I'm sure Granny Nette understands how it slipped out as everyone was catching up last night," Jagger continued, using his nickname for her.
Still in shock, Pip said, "It did?"
"It's okay, baby," Granny said to Jagger, smiling widely. "I'm a little mad, but I'm much more on the happy side. I want my babies to love and be loved and taken care of and treasured. I want them to have what me and this old man have. I know my Pip can have that with you. I'm glad she had a darn epiphany and realized it!"
Pip had opened her mouth to set the record straight, I was sure, but Granny's words had her closing it right back.
"And some people should take note," Granny added, eyeballing Real and Targen.
"Granny!" Theory moaned, embarrassed.
"I got this, OG," Targen said, his eyes glued to my cousin.
Real opened his mouth and I squeezed his damn thigh so hard. He better not be giving my little romantic granny ideas. He didn't say a word, but he cupped the back of my neck and gave me a look that could thaw glaciers.