Page 82

I still wanted to come with them though.

I opened my mouth, a protest already cocked and loaded in my mind. But I was just too tired. Too exhausted to even argue.

“Fine,” I sighed, falling back onto the bed. “I’ll stay and pack up.”

Austin smiled. “Like I said, you’re the—”

“Bees knees,” I groaned, my mouth betraying the slightest hint of a grin. “Got it. Whatever the fuck that is.”

I rolled back into the softness of our latest comforter, the fresh scent of commercial laundry detergent still lingering across the surface. Stretching my arms and legs in four different direction, I groaned contentedly.

“When you guys get back…”

They both stopped eating at once. Very abruptly, I had their full attention.

“Defile me again?”

Austin casually dabbed his chin with a napkin. Maddox smirked.

“After all,” I purred. “We can’t let these fresh sheets go to waste.”

Forty-Five

DALLAS

The shower was baptismal; a near-scalding stream of blessedly hot water that cleansed me, mind, body, and soul. Too bad it couldn’t wash away my sins. Not with that water pressure, that’s for sure.

What sins, Dallas?

I laughed as I killed the water, then bent over to shake out my hair. Surely I’d done something wrong. Then again, I must’ve done something right too. As bad as I was, a girl didn’t end up in the position I was in without making a few good choices along the way as well.

It was a funny thing, having choices again. Finally being able to call my own shots, rather than roll the dice of fate. Since I’d lost Connor, things just sort of happened to me. My brother’s death, the loss of my home, my job, my life… the illusion of free will was gone, replaced instead by a series of terrible events beyond my control.

And now…

Now I had Maddox, and Austin, and Kane. Three men who I dared say loved me, or at the very least, were in love with the idea of keeping me safe from harm.

And I loved them as well.

The full realization had come to me last night, staring up at the ceiling. Nestled between them, feeling the slow rhythm of their breathing on either side of me… the whole ordeal had sparked some very deep thinking.

Was it okay to love them? Connor sure had. He’d loved them as friends, as comrades, as brothers.

And yet, for the four of us that ship had sailed. We were already way too far gone to go back. Too deeply entwined in the physical and emotional sense to ever pretend we hadn’t connected on the deepest of levels… or screwed each other’s brains out on a balcony overlooking an alleyway, deep in the French Quarter.

But yes, I loved

them for who they were, and for what we’d shared. I suspected it was this way with Connor too, I only wished I could’ve gotten to see my brother around them.

I thought about all these things as I stepped through our quaint little room, wearing the scratchy old bathrobe the hotel had provided us. I had a towel wrapped around my hair as well, as I stepped out onto the balcony and looked toward the Central Square.

Even now, the crowds were enormous. It was Sunday, the day of the Orpheus parade. The day before Lundi Gras. Two days before Fat Tuesday, when everything including the alley below me would go absolutely fucking berserk.

Damn. I sorta wished we’d be here to see it.

I leaned happily against the balcony, giving myself a few final minutes of relaxation before getting ready to pack up. I wanted to remember this place. Hell, I wanted to remember this balcony. This railing. This…

My thought process trailed off as I spied someone deep in the heart of the crowd. It was man. A very tall and lanky man, wearing what appeared to be some strange animal mask. He looked like every one of the other hundred people surrounding him in every direction.