Page 153
But now a new vision had taken hold of him, a new witness to something he could no longer deny. His mind was no longer stubborn and locked against its vagrant possibilities and wild, escalating light.
What if the old sensibilities that had forged him had not been the sacrosanct revelation that he had once assumed? What if it were possible to invest every cell of his being with a gratitude and acceptance of self that could bring not mere contentment but certain joy?
It seemed impossible.
Yet undeniably, he felt it happening. He felt some overall quickening that was so surprisingly new for him that no one save himself could or would understand. But no other understanding was needed. He knew this.
For what he'd been, the being he'd been, required no confessions to those he knew and loved, but only that he love them and affirm their purpose with his transformed soul. And if he had once been the soul of an age as Armand had long ago told him he was, well, so be it, because he saw that dark and lustrous age with its decayed beliefs and doomed rebellions as only a beginning--a vast and fertile kindergarten in which the terms of his struggle had not been without value but were now most certainly the phantoms of a past from which he had, in spite of himself, exorably emerged.
He had not perished. That might be his only significant accomplishment. He had survived. Yes, he'd been defeated, more than once. But fortune had refused to release him. And he was here now, whole, and quietly accepting of the fact though he honestly did not know why.
But what loomed ahead of him now were challenges more wondrous and splendid than he'd ever foreseen. And he wanted this, this future, this time in which "Hell would have no dominion" and in which the Devil's Road had become the Road of the People of Darkness, who were essentially children no more.
This was beyond happiness and beyond contentment. This was nothing other than peace.
From the depths of the townhouse came the music of Antoine and Sybelle with a new melody, a furious Tchaikovsky waltz, ah, the waltz of "The Sleeping Beauty," and on and on the music surged in Antoine's magnificent glissandos, and Sybelle's pounding chords.
Oh, how differently he heard this triumphal music now than he had once heard it, and how he opened himself to it, acknowledging its magnificent claims.
He closed his eyes. Was he making lyrics for this swirling melody, was he forming some affirmation for his soul? "Yes, and I do want this, yes, I do take it, yes, I hold it in my heart, the will to know this beauty forever, the will to let it be the light on my path...."
On they went, faster and faster, the piano and the violin singing of gaiety and glory as if they had always been one.
A random noise pierced his thoughts. Something wrong. Be en garde. The music had stopped.
Over the top of the brick wall to his left, he saw a human crouched in the darkness, incapable of seeing him there as he saw the human. He heard the soft stealthy sounds of Sybelle and Antoine drawing near to the glass porch that ran along the back of the three townhouses. He heard the mortal intruder's labored breath.
The intruder, dressed in black garments and black skull cap, dropped down into the wet grass. With deft feline movements he darted out from the shrubbery and into the dim yellow light from the house.
Scent of fear, scent of rage, scent of blood.
He saw Louis now, the lone figure on the bench beneath the tree, and he stiffened. Out of his slick black Windbreaker jacket he raised a knife that shone like silver in the semidarkness.
Slowly he came towards Louis. Ah, the old menacing dance.
Louis closed the book but he didn't put it aside. The scent of the blood made him faintly delirious. He watched this emaciated yet powerful young man come closer. He saw the malignant face infinitely more clearly than the man, hardened with purpose, could see his. The man was sweating and breathing raggedly, crazed with drugs and seeking for anything he might snatch to find the anodyne for his twisting gut. Such beautiful eyes. Such black eyes. Why these walls and not some other garden meant nothing in the scheme of things to this one, and before Louis could utter a word to him, the man had resolved to sink the knife into Louis's heart.
"Death," Louis said now loudly enough to stop the man, though he was only a few feet away. "Are you ready for this? Is this what you truly want?"
A sinister laugh came from the intruder. He stepped forward crunching the lilies, the stout white calla lilies, underfoot.
"Yeah, death, my friend!" the man said. "You're in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"Ah, but for your sake"--Louis sighed--"would that were true. But it has never been less true than it is now."
He had the man in his grip.
The knife was gone, lost in the wet leaves. Sybelle and Antoine waited in the shadows behind the wall of glass.
The man fought and kicked in a small useless fury. Oh, how Louis had always cherished the struggle, young muscles straining against him and the inevitable strangled curses like so much unwitting applause.
He drove his fangs right into the arterial stream. How ever translate for a mortal world the heat and purity of this simple feast? Salt and blood, and dark shiny brittle fantasies of victories, all flowing into him and out of the victim with the last protest of his dying heart.
It was finished. The man lay dead among the lilies. Louis stood wondrously satisfied and reanimated, the night opening up above him through luminous clouds. And the music inside the house began again.
Flushed with blood, flushed with the old deceptive but seductive sense of illimitable power, he thought of Lestat across the sea. What charms would his great castle hold, and what manner of court would convene there in chambers of stone that Louis so longed to see? He had to smile when he thought of the easy swagger with which Lestat had fulfilled the tribe's collective dreams.
The road ahead could not be smooth, and simplicity could never be the goal. The burden of conscience was part of Louis's human heart and the heart of every blood drinker he had ever known, even Armand. And the struggle for goodness, actual goodness, would and must obsess them all. That was the miracle which now united the tribe.
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