Page 68

CALISTA
Had I really just said that out loud?
My heart thumped in my chest like a wild drum, its rapid beats echoing violently in my ears.
I swallowed hard, trying to steady myself, while the look on Leon’s face left me breathless. My head spun, and I couldn’t tell if the dizzying sensation was from the alcohol still buzzing through my veins or from the sheer audacity of my statement.
Either way, I meant every single word I had spoken.
Every ounce of courage I could muster surged through me as I held Leon’s gaze, determined to own my request.
I had shared my desires with him. They lingered in theair, bold and unyielding like a blazing neon sign lighting up our surroundings.
It felt as if years passed in that silence, my anticipation stretching the moment as I waited for his response.
Yes, I was tipsy, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t give full consent to sex like a grown-ass adult. I had put a tremendous amount of thought into this. After talking with my sisters, it had consumed all my focus.
Their advice played on repeat in my mind, even when I sat alone in my car, piecing together my thoughts.
I knew Leon desired me. It was unmistakable in the way his eyes burned with a smoldering intensity every time we made love. I sensed he’d been holding back from the very first time. It was obvious he was worried he might trigger me. His hesitation was endearing. It was the very thing that made me trust him enough to ask for what I wanted in the first place.
And, Oh my God, did I know what I wanted…
I wanted the man I saw lingering in the shadows in the bedroom, the man with the dark, primal need that he tried to keep hidden.
The savage Leon…
The alpha Leon…
The sexy, primitive beast that I knew was pacing around inside him, itching to be let out of his cage…
I thought of Laya and Niko and what it had been like living with them. They didn’t worry about what the staff heard or saw. They took their pleasure wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted. And they didn’t try to hide their savage trysts or the damage caused by them. More thanonce, I’d walked into a room where the staff was cleaning up broken furniture that had been sacrificed for their passion. There were nights when the sounds of their escapades echoed through the entire house, and they showed their faces the next day with pride and a complete lack of shame.
That was what I wanted.
That was what I needed.
The gleam in his eyes when he smiled hinted at a level of joy he rarely showed, suggesting the longing I believed Leon kept hidden within.
“I can’t,” he finally said, shaking his head firmly, dashing all my hopes.
I know he saw it on my face.
He reached up and cupped my cheek with one trembling hand. “Calista, darling, I’m so sorry. I care too much about you to ever hurt you.” His thumb brushed a tear I fought to swallow.
“No!” I cried. “I don’t understand, and neither do you! I feel safe with you—I am safe with you, aren’t I?”
He closed his eyes. “Of course! That’s an absurd question!”
“Then let me decide when I don’t feel safe.” I pressed my forehead against his sternum, feeling his heart thump like a drum under my cheek. “Please, Leon.”
He shook his head, gaze lowered to meet mine. “Calista, I just can’t?—”
“Are you always going to hold that night over me?” I snapped, hands clawing at his shoulders. “You use it as anexcuse to keep me at arm’s length. I’m sick of feeling punished!”
I flung my words at him like daggers. I knew I was hurting him, but I didn’t know how else to get through to him.
“Punished?” His tone conveyed utter disbelief, which was so frustrating.